Is Your Relationship On The Downside? Here's How To End A Relationship Peacefully

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How to end a long term relationship: limiting pain and conflict

The first step is to accept that it may take more time and energy to create a 'good' ending than perhaps you'd hoped.

The second step is to approach each stage with the right mindset. This means that come what may, you're mentally prepared to stay calm and polite. Act in the way you'd have wanted your partner to behave if they were the one breaking up with you - however difficult your partner may make it for you.

I promise you, if you need to engage a solicitor, that second step will help keep your costs down. You won't be creating another layer of conflict on top of the one you're already dealing with.

Even if the breakup is unlikely to be amicable (for whatever reason), you may just manage a reasonable ending. You'll feel better for it and it may also help your partner to get over the ending sooner (I hope that still matters to you, if only a little).

If you have children, the whole drama will be so much more manageable for them if the two of you can (at the very least) talk politely. Do take a look at my page about Divorce and Children to make sure you're prepared for how your kids might react, and what you can do to help them get through this process too.

Do all you can to stay as calm as possible. Stay in touch with family and friends and take time out for yourself to help you relax.