Here's How To Be An Amazing Step Parent

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1. Learn new ways of seeing the reality from your new family

Remember, stepfamilies are often complicated and sometimes hard to handle, but they are that much more diverse and rich. Not that this would be the first thing that comes to your mind when in the midst of a new family quarrel, but do try to think about this fact when you have a quiet moment.

Regardless of who makes your new family, in any case, you all will learn from each other new ways of seeing the reality. And this is an inspiring position to be in.

2. Adapt to the age of your new stepchildren

Your behavior will have to be adapted to the age of your new stepchildren . If the child is younger, it is easier for everyone to settle in. A younger child may still be in a phase in which making new bonds and attachments comes relatively easy. Although even such newly formed family might hit a rough patch, that is nothing compared to becoming a stepparent of an adolescent.

Teenagers are a handful on their own, let alone if they’re not your own. Not to mention the array of tactics to show you how dissatisfied with the new situation they are at their disposal.

The best advice in this situation is to be respectful of the autonomy the adolescent is trying to develop. He or she doesn’t need another authority to fight right now. Rather, an open and approachable attitude might work better.

3. Don’t try to replace the biological parent

Don’t try to impose to be called Mom or Dad, and all that comes with it. There are more kinds of affection, not just the one a child feels for the biological parent. Your new child can love you within your specific role, and in a way that is genuine and unique for the two of you. So, don’t try to get into someone else’s place, but find your own place instead.

4. Don’t oppose the biological parent’s wishes and rules

When the biological parent denies the child the permission to go to a birthday party, it might be tempting to collect some points by not only permitting it, but also buying him/her new clothes to wear for the occasion, getting a fancy present, and driving the child to the venue. Yet, this is a serious transgression that will inevitably cause an avalanche of problems for everyone involved.

Instead, step back, and remember that the marriage between your spouse and their ex is what fell apart, but they are still the child’s parent. Such respect will help everyone find their new place more easily.

5. Don’t get in between your spouse and their children’s quarrels

It might seem like a good opportunity to get involved, but this is actually something that they need to resolve while also learning to cope with the new family situation. Both your spouse and the child might find such intervention by you intrusive and unwanted. The spouse might feel as if you were questioning their parenting skills (which they might doubt at that moment themselves), and the child could feel ganged up on.