The Best Way To Deal With Dissapointments And Bad News

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1. Take a moment to…wallow. You may find your sense of calm more easily if you allow yourself not be calm for the initial shock of disappointment. "When you get bad news, take a moment to let it sink in," says Tina Gilbertson , LPC, DCC, psychotherapist and author of Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them . "Also, find a word for how you feel, such as disappointed, resentful, or afraid. Labeling feelings helps us make sense of our experience." Let the waves of disappointment wash over you, speak out loud (if only to yourself), and honor your emotions. "Experiencing your feelings will allow you to make a cool-headed decision about what to do next," she adds.

2. Do a reality check—is it really that bad? After feeling the first blows of disappointment, step back and assess. It can seem like the biggest, most horrible thing that could possibly happen—but humans tend to dramatize, too. "Feelings are real and are important to recognize, but thoughts are not always the truth," says Psychotherapist Sarah Mandel , R.N., L.C.S.W. When the initial upset is over, she says, "Try to look objectively at your problems to help separate fact from fiction and reduce negative self-talk."

3. Go high when hit with low blow. "Though we don't get to choose the situations about which we feel disappointed, we have a lot of choice regarding how we respond to disappointment," says Tricia Andor , MA, LPC. "We can choose what we do, say, and think about any given situation." She says it's important to head disappointment up at the pass before things turn to into irritation, anger, resentment, jealousy, or bitterness.

4. Don't stew in negativity. Like any other emotion, disappointment has a spectrum, says licensed counselor and life coach, Monte Drenner , LMHC, CAP. "The secret to dealing with disappointment is to not let it grow into stronger emotions like discouragement and depression," he says. "The longer I stew in disappointment the more likely I will allow myself to become discouraged which is even more difficult to get through. The longer I'm discouraged the greater the chances of getting depressed." Turn the emotional tables on disappointment and always look for ways to grow from it. "Turn this negative emotion into a positive emotion like determination," he says, because is it a way to restore peace of mind.

5. Avoid anxious reactions by lowering stress. Find a sweet spot for fast anxiety relief, such as meditating, walking, listening to music, taking a long baths or watching a comedy. Your general state of stress and anxiety can add an extra layer of sensitivity and make you more prone to agitation. "Stress is on a continuum from 0 (no stress at all) to 10 (the most stressed out you have ever been)," says Elizabeth R. Lombardo , PhD, MS, PT, author of Better than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love . "When we are at a seven or higher out of ten, we tend to "negative filter"—focus almost exclusively on the negatives—and catastrophize." Find things to do every day that keep you calmer so that you don't feel it is the end of the world every time you are disappointed by an outcome.