How To Raise Your Child To Be Generous

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I asked other moms, a teacher, a children’s minister, and a school psychologist for advice on how to raise a kind, generous child, and three themes emerged.

1. Do it yourself – Children will watch and copy what you do.
2. Talk about it – Point out when others are generous, and explain how God is generous with us, and therefore, we should be generous with others.
3. Encourage it – Look for opportunities to help your children practice being generous and doing things for others.

Check out the age-appropriate strategies below. Many of these ideas were formative and influential for me as a child and teen, and my husband and I plan on trying them out with our family.

As a kid, earning an allowance and using the save/spend/give jars gave me a good foundation for my understanding of money.

My parents also explained to me that my money wasn’t really “my” money – it’s God’s money, and I have to steward it well (like in the parable of the talents in Matthew 5).

My family always had a sponsored child through World Vision, and as soon as I had regular income after college, I began sponsoring children on my own. My parents modeled generosity in many ways, and giving became a habit of mine.

As soon as my daughter is old enough to understand, we’ll explain that there are children around the world, who, through sponsorship, are part of our family — just like through Jesus, we’re all part of God’s family.

Raising a generous preschooler (ages 3 to 5)
Preschool children are little sponges, and they’re keen observers. Developmentally, preschoolers are ready to understand the concept of sharing and are learning how to do things for themselves: getting dressed, tying their shoes, riding a bike. Learning autonomy and initiative is key at this developmental stage. Look for ways to help your children practice becoming a cheerful giver on their own.

1. Model generosity by being kind and generous to those in need. Idea: Keep granola bars in your car or bag to give out to the homeless, or take a meal to a sick neighbor. I have early memories of my mom stopping to be kind to people in need. She taught me a lot, just by being a generous person.
2. Talk about generosity and point out when you see others being generous. “Oh, look how Madison is sharing her cookies. How generous of her.”
3. Practice giving: When there’s a gift to give, have your child help select, wrap, and give it.
4. Practice hospitality by welcoming other children into your home, so your kids get practice sharing their space and their toys with others.
5. Don’t force generosity or giving, which could backfire. Instead, give positive reinforcement when you see your child sharing, giving, or being generous. Tip: School psychologist Whitney Hutcheson recommends using “I statements” to help children build awareness about how their behavior impacts others. For example, “When I saw you sharing your favorite toy with your friend, that made me feel happy.” It also works when addressing negative behavior. “When you hit your that hurt my heart.”