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18.11.2008 Relationship

The magic of making up


The magic of making up

Have you ever noticed how bad you can feel after an argument with a friend or, even worse, a lover?
Then you would have also noticed that wonderful feeling of satisfaction and contentment you feel after you have made up. This is what some people refer to as “the magic of making up”! But is the art of making-up as secret and as mystical as the art of magic, unknowable to us mere mortals?
No! Of course not.

The magic of making up requires only one ingredient: a “decision to make up.”
After a break-up one of you is going to have to take the “bull by the horns” and start to repair the break-up. And because it is you reading this I suppose it is you who is going to be the one?


”The magic of dialogue!.

No break-up can be repaired until both of you are talking amicably!
So the first step is to re-establish a rapport.

Now, at first this task may seem a bit worrying, but remember this is a friend we are talking about, not a stranger. So not only will you be doing yourself a favour - you will also be acting like a true friend by helping the other experience that same “magic of making up”.
So the first step is to work up the courage to contact them.

It may be a bit intimidating at first but you are going to have to overcome the illusion of difficulty simply by facing up to this fear. Remember, most fears are usually just a figment of a person's imagination (in this case, yours!)

Don't worry about any initial hostilities you think you may encounter from your ex. This is usually no more than a defensive mechanism some people put in place after an upset … so don't back off … be bold, but gentle.

Depending on how badly you fell out with your ex, it may be difficult for either or both of you to manage personal contact at first such as face-to-face conversation, or even talking over the phone. But it is important that you try. If your ex is so upset that they refuse to talk to you, then you could try a text or email … but for maximum positive impact, how about a nice hand-written letter?

The first contact after a break up should always be light and breezy and you should always try to avoid mentioning the cause or reason for the break-up until your friend is ready to talk about it.
One of the great secrets of making up is to keep in mind the other person's feelings - so you should always try to repair the break-up at their pace, not yours.

Once you have taken the steps to get back into rapport!, you will both be in a stronger position to work out what went wrong. However, this may take a little time, so be patient.

But what if this ex or friend of yours is so upset they won't even answer your texts or emails, or return your calls? That's worrying! Has that “magic of making up” gone forever?

No! But this kind of situation will require a slightly different approach so for more information on how to get your ex back visit …