LESSONS FROM ESTHER SMITH'S MARRIAGE SAGA
What is the reason for the high incidence of divorce among many high profile christian Ghanaians?
The news of the break up of Bishop Duncan Williams with his wife of many years and the recent news about his proposed marriage to a wealthy African-American is something of a concern to the Bible faith community in Ghana. Then, we read this week of Esther Smith and her husband Rev. Ahinkan Bonsu. What is going on?
The elders and the wise say unexamined life is not worth living. Are we true to the point if we speculate that some of the so called contemporary relationships are contracted in haste without taking time to do background checks of partners? Our elders knew better hence their advice to us that we make the matters of the heart a community affair where every important person plays a part. Many of the new generation of Ghanaians in relationships are quick to dismiss our cultural values regarding marriage as archaic,outdated and disgusting, they however, prefer that of the foreign and welcomes it wholesale without checking it for its effects. The consequence is obvious for all to see, not everything from the West is good for us in Africa, it is also same for some of our cultural values but sometimes, the wise will make a hybrid that can foster success in anything we do.
One erroneuos impression that most Ghanaians have is that, they wrongly think that anybody singing gospel is a christian and as such is expected to live a holy-thou art and super pious life. Experience teaches us that it is not always true of all gospel singers. Many of them are simply career musicians or music business personnel who are in the gospel music industry for economic reasons. What many of us forget is that they are human like us, so we cannot exaggerate their wrongs when they make mistakes in any department of life.
Esther Smith is a very good gospel singer who has really made a name for herself on the Ghanaian music scene. She is also a well-established business woman in Kumasi and probably abroad. What we dont know is how she fell in love with the Rev. whom , she is now accusing of having cast a spell on her,having affair with the maid and that their marriage is over.
Do you remember those days as teens ,where we used to say " I will do that beautiful girl " For-Girls" ( meaning contract some spiritualist to cast a spell on a girl you had a crush on?) Your understanding of Esther's lamentation will be based on how you believe in those cast-a- spell realities. I can tell you that I have friends who told me that "For Girls Juju" worked for them but it never lasted. If those spell worked for them, and as superstitious as many Ghanaians are,then Esther suspicion of foul play by Ahinkan holds water. The inference is that, Esther though a christian ( dont know whether she is pious one or not), must still be a believer of people's ability to influence life events spiritually. The other factor we have to consider must be, how the Rev. Ahinkan lived and fared when they were living together during marriage. Was he fond of using some super natural powers to achieve his dreams, make miracles etc?
Today in Ghana, in most christian faiths especially among the charismatic ministers, one's ability to do miracles is among the factors that determine one's success in a ministry. This is leading to some sort of competition among the ministers to do the unthinkable, possibly visits to third forces to acquire miraculous energy. Is it strange that Nana Kwaku Bonsam the dreaded traditional priest and many traditional priests in Ghana are saying that they have been helping most of the ministers to attract many congregants? Could it be that when they were in marriage, Esther Smith and the minister husband might have consulted some shrine for help in their respective lives ie Esther's music career and business and the minister's ministry?
Think about those things as you continue to read.
Now about the accusations, when they are each accusing each other of infidelity, it means something is wrong somewhere. Is it the fault of Esther or that of the Ahinkan? When the Ahinkan accuses Esther of flirting with one,Fiifi of Tema harbor before and after marriage, did he not take time to do his home work about Esther's background before making the proposal? Was it really love that inspired their marriage or status,fame or infatuation? Was she a flirt before she became "born-again" same as many young Ghanain women are known for such loose-like backgrounds?
Why would a whole minister have an affair with his own maid? Was Esther not paying him any attention? Or was Ahinkan seduced by the maid? Or is it the work of evil forces with an aim to destroy their marriage? Did Esther need a maid after all? Or was she too busy flirting with men both in Ghana and abroad?
Why would she let some man abroad adopt her child? Doesn't it raise suspicions that she had some dirty clothes in the closet?
Why would she tell the husband that you are not the father of my first two children? Is this why the some musician sings " Only Mothers Know? Thanks to DNA, Honorable Reverend, you can check the paternity of your children.
Marriage that is not contracted in its right cultural context does not survive storms,hence the problems and challenges we have in today's Ghana. This blog is not meant to chastize anybody, it is ONLY my opinion about the TRUTH, I hope we can all learn some lessons from this saga.