Social Issues | Sep 4, 2018

What Happens When Your Targets In Life Aren't Happening And Age Is Fast Catching Up?

A few days ago I sat on the couch and was trying to think over my life. The process had been ongoing for a while inside of me but a chat I had with a friend brought the whole thing to the surface.

I looked at my life- where I am now to the prognosis of my projected future from my past and without the need to think too much, it was obvious they were two opposite ends.

Could remember the trajectory of the life I planned for myself when I was leaving the university. I had everything all planned out. By age 25, I must have had my first child and at a much later age which is fast approaching, I must have been setting a trail in my chosen field. All looked rosy as I dreamt, and I was ready for anything and everything. Well, to cut the long story short, at age 25, I never found myself on the path I set for myself, and at the age fast approaching? Perhaps there is still a three-month hope. So, what do you do when life happens?

Do you cry, get depressed and unnecessarily touchy and angry at everything and everybody? Or do you begin to get jealous and put yourself off thinking no good thing can ever happen to you again since they have not happened already? Just what do you do when life happens?

Well, maybe cry if you must, but beyond crying, re-plan your life. Reason being that it is of little or no value crying over what happens to be spilt milk. Do a deep and honest evaluation of the life you have lived from the time you thought your life was the most meaningful till now; what are the things you missed? Your attitudes, your principles and perhaps your morals, how were they like? Moving to your craft, the very one you have passion for and you are pursuing with the whole of your heart, how good are you there? Or rather, how excellent are you?

Next, ask yourself, perhaps on a deeper level, why do you think you are where you are? Are you there because you have tried all you can and all you can do is wait for the day things will change, or you are there because there are some things you still need to try that you have not tried? What could it be? If on the reverse you have tried all you can, how can you try better? Or perhaps try differently?

Having thought about that, what is now your plan? Perhaps this time around- your plan A, B and C. Perhaps things failed with little or nothing you could do when the whole thing deviated because there were no plan B, C and D. This is not to dismantle your faith, but sometimes, except God said specifically this is the way/route you must go, for things to work, you might have to have your plan A,B,C, even up to Z literally. I guess the more we grow, the more we discover that life is not necessarily white and black, neither is it all a straight road. There are some grey areas/curvy paths which we all must prepare for either directly or indirectly.

Could remember the times I was planning my life years ago in my head (now I do more of pen and paper planning, instead of just head), I did all I did expecting little or no obstacle. Because life had been quite swift in some ways from primary school till then, I thought (unconsciously though), that life would continue being that way. “If only you had the dream, nothing would stop you”- so I’d thought. What I failed to think was- what would you do if something tried to stop you? I had no contingency plan, it was a ‘one-way traffic’ which I held on to rather doggedly, until some months down the line of reaching my predetermined milestone age, some things shifted inside of me.

So, back to my first question, what do you do when life happens? You pick up yourself and try again. And in trying again, you not only start from where you are, but also with what you have. Looking back to start with the things you lost would either put you on the same spot, or make you work with a very slow pace because you would be busy here and there chasing after what is not, and sometimes, getting more discouraged in the process.

In addition to starting all over again literally, be flexible and accommodative of great ideas, especially ideas that may not necessarily be a part of your original plan but fits and has a lot of truth and wisdom in it. Also, be open to opportunities that has windows of growth in them, as well as challenges though tough that can build you; for when it comes to the game of life, never say never and never be too calculated such that you give no room for flexibility. Having the ability to consider and scrutinize opinions and ideas are added advantages in the journey of life. In as much as you have a plan, don’t be too dogged and rigid with it; to get to your goals, there might be many legal and moral ways apart from the one in your plan A. And sometimes, you have to be flexible enough to either change or modify your approach while on the chase as the occasion demands. Sticking strictly to the plan when it could have been better changed could cost you a whole lot, far more than imagined.

When things go the unexpected way, rather than getting depressed and staying in depression for a long time, empty your heart of it’s troubles with deep thoughts, and perhaps a season of tears if you must, and set your feet back on the road and start all over again. When things seemingly go wrong or life happens as we say, take a deep breath, think your way through, and come up with not only a new plan, but with contingency plans so when by some means one fails, you could get back to the others. We spend a lot of time mourning because most of the time, we have no contingency plan; nothing to divert our attention to without breaking down.

When things go wrong, go back to the table (sometimes with your tissue in your hand) and plan again. A part of going back to the table is asking God for fresh ideas and listening diligently with the whole of you for what He has to say. Whatever you hear Him say, be ready to carry it out with the whole of you. Life as we all know is never for the lethargic. To succeed, you must be willing to give the whole of you to what you believe you must do.

In addition to the re-planning and re-evaluations, it will be good to bear in mind that life’s journey was designed with patience, hard work, diligence and perseverance in mind, so whatever stage you are now, make sure to your hard work, you are adding patience and taking things one at a time if you must, because Rome as we all know, was never built in a day. Life in the end is all about processes and most times, for a process to appear as it should, we must be willing to be diligent, faithful, hardworking, and yet patient.

Till I come your way again, keep your eyes focused on God and know that with prayer, hard work and perseverance- this too shall become history!

Do have a lovely day. *hugs*

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