General News
News | Sports | Entertainment | Nigeria Films | LifeStyle | Blogs | References


RELIGIONForgiveness - Today can be different II

By
Fri, 11 Jul 2008 | Print | E-Mail | PDF | Graphics Version
Religion

We bring to you the concluding part of last Friday's article on Forgiveness. Forgiveness is of high value, yet it costs nothing. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Practical Steps As Christians we should know that forgiveness is the key relational issue in the Scriptures. It is vitally important to our relationship with God, with others and, very importantly, with ourselves. Learning to forgive is central to our emotional and spiritual growth. Here are a few steps:

1. Face the hurt Some of us think that, it is unspiritual to acknowledge the pain and hurt done to us by others. Forgiveness does not mean overlooking the other person's behaviour, whitewashing it or making excuses. To be able to forgive, we have to admit the pain of the offence.

2. Admit Your Resentment

God has given us feelings and so when we are hurt or scared we react with anger or resentment. Being resentful is automatic and normal. What is wrong is to nurture the resentment. Be honest about how you feel towards those who have wronged you or hurt you. Admit your resentment, anger and bitterness, then let go of the resentment remembering that vengeance is the Lord's – Rom. 12:19

3. Assume Responsibility for your Behaviour

Many of us have become experts at blaming others. When we fail in some endeavour we blame our parents, the system, the economy our spouse or children. As a result of this we find it difficult to forgive those we are blaming. I know a troubled teenager who blames the mother for his unruly behaviour and lack of discipline, claiming that if the mother had not had him out of wedlock he would have turned out to be a good person. Perhaps you know other such people or maybe you yourself are like that. The way we behave is largely our own responsibility.

This does not mean that we have to assume the responsibility of other people's behaviour. Sometimes when we are wronged we go into the guilt trip of blaming ourselves thinking that we may have done something wrong to elicit their reaction of hurting us. That is not always the case. The most important thing is to remember that assuming responsibility for own behaviour helps us to forgive others.

4. Relinquish the consequences of your Forgiveness

Forgiveness must be unconditional. Some of us think that when we forgive others, they will be very responsive and right all the wrongs that they have caused us. This is particularly true of broken or difficult relationships. A spouse, parent, child, employee, politician, may think that forgiveness will heal the relationship and make things wonderful again. Alas, true forgiveness is not manipulation because it does not force the other person to act the way we want them to. When God asks us to forgive, He does not promise that the other person will change instantly. Let us obey God and forgive others, leaving the results to Him.

5. Forgiveness is a Process

We live in an age of the instant – instant coffee, instant fufu, instant photograph and so we forget that life is a continuing process. Our feelings of resentment do not disappear instantly. Human emotions have a way of returning but God's word is true – He is growing us into the image of Jesus Christ. We must remember this so that we shall be able to forgive seventy times seven (Matt. 18:22).

We all struggle with unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness and grudges. As C.S. Lewis says “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive”. Forgiveness is a divine attribute that God has given us through Christ who lives in us. We should therefore do as God has done for us and forgive, seeing that we ourselves are in constant need of forgiveness.

A PRAYER FOR FORGIVENESS

O God, I need to feel that I have forgiveness from You. So often my good intentions do not become what I want them to be, and so often the good I want to do, I don't do. It is hard to face up to the wrong that is in my life. When I feel Your forgiveness, I feel clean and good inside and so free to be what You want me to be. Help me feel this goodness, and strengthen me to forgive those who have wronged me.

I pray in the name of Christ who shows us the way to Your forgiving presence. - Amen.

You many use the prayer below for someone who has hurt you. Insert his/her name and the specific offense.

Father God, I choose, as an act of my will, to forgive (name) ____________ for _______ (specific offense.) Father, I ask that you forgive them as well; and not hold these charges against him/her on my account.

Father God, if there are any more stored up negative feelings in me toward _________, I ask that you cleanse me. I will be open to replace these negative emotions with the fruit of your Holy Spirit.

Father, Your Holy Word tells us that we overcome Satan by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, and the word of our testimony. I now plead the blood of Jesus over this offense and over my unforgiveness. Lord, do not allow Satan to interfere with my testimony.

Heavenly Father, I ask that you help me regain the ground that I gave up when I held onto these offenses. I ask that you take back this ground and no longer allow Satan to operate there. Give me wisdom to deal with this situation in the future.

Father, I ask that you heal now the wounded places in my soul. Heal my memory of those offenses so that I can look back on them realistically, knowing that You have healed me. Now Father, I ask that you bless ____(name) with Your abundant mercy. Prosper him/her in every way: body, soul, and spirit. Amen.

PS: Look out for our programme of activities for the rest of the year to mark our 10th Anniversary. If you would like to support the work of this ministry, please call us on 021-772013; 028-8259992; 024-3787599 or 024-3807088. STAY BLESSED!

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners.