NDC School Of Politics

Good morning, Femi
It is afternoon here, mister. Good afternoon.
Whatever. How are things?
Things like what?
We are in fine funk today, aren’t we?
You and who?
Why do you always have be so irascible?
Says who?
Anyway, good luck to you and your mood. I just called to ask what is wrong with you people.

And what exactly would you mean by “you people.”

You people in Ghana incorporation
Who incorporated us?
You mortgaged your country to the hilt. You owed unpayable debt. You put yourself under IMF tutelage and you asked who incorporated us.

May I ask you a question?
Please go ahead
What exactly is it that made you people in Diaspora wear air of superiority? You left the shores a few years ago, now you consider yourself a foreigner and refer to those of us you left behind as “you people.”

I am very sorry that you felt affronted. It is just that some of the things we see on television and read about you people (oops, sorry) made us wonder what exactly they put in your food and drink.

Mister, please what exactly is the point of this call? Do you just need a place to ventilate your own frustration?

Hahaha. What frustration? Honestly, my friend, you made us look positively antediluvian by some of the things you do.

By which you mean?
Take the case of someone setting up a school for his party…

Stop there, mister. What is wrong with setting up schools? What is the problem with someone setting up institution to impart knowledge? Didn’t the great Martin Luther himself told us that: “On the expansion of knowledge I stand”?

He said that?
Not the Junior, I meant the one that translated the Bible.

Whatever. But would he be talking about a political school?

How would I know?
You see what I mean. How could any politico in this age come up with such imbecilic idea?

Insults will get you everywhere. Be mindful that he is a General.

What! A general in the army leading a political party in Ghana.

I didn’t say a general in the army.
But you said he is a general.
So I did. But you added the army.
You are confusing me.
No, you are confusing yourself. He is a political General.

What is a political General?
He wins elections.
Please, Femi, tell me you have not been drinking some village Akpeteshi.

Too early for that. Ask any Ghanaian, they will tell you about the General. He knows his stuffs.

And now he is setting up a school
What would you do in his position?
What do you mean?
Look at it this way, the man is good at what he does. He is a genius when it comes to the craftiness of winning elections. Bereft of ideology or such things, the only thing that matters to politicians in our corner of the world is how to win the next election. So, our General learned his trade well. He consistently bested the competitors. Now, the good man that he is, he is looking for ways to impart his considerable knowledge and skills to the next generation. And you, you picked up a phone, burned a lot of copper and wasted some good dollars to try to pillory the good man. You should ask what is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with us.

I just cannot believe that I am hearing this from you, Femi. The rest of humanity are making strides to solve problems of agriculture, medical, environmental challenges. We in Ghana busy ourselves with mundane stuffs like politics. We do politics all hour, all day, all, all week, and all year long. It would matter little if we use our politics to solve some of the problems besetting us. No, all we do is to issue Eurobond or run to the IMF or China or wherever for loan. We are the butt of merciless jokes in foreign land. Do you know what people think of us?

Why should I care what others think of us? We appear to be doing just fine. We enjoy our sunshine all year round. Our food is fantastic. Our Music is great. And the beauty of our women is enough to make a virile man go insane. So, why shouldn’t we be merry, my friend? Why shouldn’t we?

Really, Femi?
Yes, really, my dear agitated friend.
So, there is no need to take care of tomorrow?
Ha, tomorrows usually take care of themselves, don’t they?

So, if I may ask, what exactly is going to be the course structure of this school?

How would I know?
Is it accredited?
You are asking the wrong person
You are insufferable
If you say so
Plug for Femi Akomolafe books
Femi Akomolafe is a Freelance writer, Author, Film & Video Documentary Producer, IT Consultant and Web-Designer.

His highly-acclaimed books (Africa: Destroyed by the gods,” and “Africa: It shall be well,” are now available for sales at the following bookshops/offices:

1. Freedom Bookshop, near Apollo Theatre, Accra.
2. The Daily Dispatch Office, Labone – Accra
3. WEB Dubois Pan-African Centre, Accra
4. Ghana Writers Association office, PAWA House, Roman Ridge, Accra.

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Africa: it shall be well on Kindle books: https://www.createspace.com/4820404

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A FREE Chapter of ‘Africa: Destroyed by the gods’ could be downloaded here: http://alaye.biz/africa-destroyed-by-the-gods-free-chapter/

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