Premarital Sex In Ghana: A Reflection

Premarital sex is not a new phenomenon but has existed from time immemorial. Every society that ever existed has had its fair share of the canker.

Premarital sex occurs when two people who are not married to each other have sexual intercourse. Bible calls this kind of sexual relationship fornication.

When a legally married person does have any sexual intercourse with another person who is not their spouse, it is called adultery. If those involved are of the same sex that will be homosexual intercourse.

Premarital sex is widespread and pervasive in Ghana. What seems to have fuelled the practice is increasing access to pornographic films and magazines, sex videos and movies by the young ones notably adolescent girls and boys.

We all have sexual instincts which are deeply embedded in our DNAs. When the young ones view such materials, their sexual feelings are aroused and soon they are into the practice oblivious of its far-reaching consequences.

Opinions on premarital sex vary. Factors that may influence one’s perception of premarital sex include the person’s religion, culture, gender and level of education among others.

Why is premarital sex prevalent in Ghana?
The reasons for this cannot be farfetched. As indicated earlier there is increasing access to sex videos, movies and other forms of pornographic materials by the youths. Since they have plastic minds, they are tempted to experiment their sexuality without the slightest regard to the consequences.

Due to the delicate nature of sexuality coupled with the fact that many consider the issue a private matter for the individual, it is hardly discussed in the home, church, workplace or the school. Confused as to whether premarital sex is right or wrong, they get information from some of their peers who unfortunately endorse the practice. They brand those who want to preserve their virginity until marriage as being behind time or living in dark ages.

Parental neglect also leads to premarital sex. Indigent parents fail to provide for the needs of their wards especially girls forcing them into the streets to fend for themselves. These young girls enter into relationships that eventually find them engaging in premarital sex.

Again some parents who are more or less living on the margins of society and without any job to make a meaningful living ask their wards particularly girls to look for men who are well-to do to take care of them. They also hope such men will offer them money and other gifts to ease their economic burden. In the process the men take advantage and have sex with these unsuspecting girls.

Most of the youths who are involved in premarital sex view it as a form of entertainment. Sex is a pleasurable thing. God designed it that way. But it is not for recreation but procreation. God created sex for married couples so that they enjoy the pleasure and excitement of sexual relations.

Bad environmental influence can contribute to premarital sex. People no longer value chastity. Adults and people who are supposed to be role models and live by example are themselves deeply involved in the practice. The young ones see it as normal and involve themselves in it.

Lack of discipline is another reason accounting for the high incidence of premarital sex in Ghana. Most of the young ones do not want to listen to advice given by their parents, teachers and those in authority and take wrong decisions that are potentially destructive to their well-being.

It is said the idle hand is the devil’s workshop. With nothing meaningful to do, boys and girls may indulge in social vices such as premarital sex and prostitution.

Young boys and girls from broken homes may play into the hands of unscrupulous men who take advantage of their ignorance and inexperience to use them as sex objects.

Premarital sex has both good and bad effects. The disadvantages of it however outweigh the advantages.

Those who are in favour of premarital sex say it is not a sin; that it is pleasurable and it makes one gain experience when it comes to love-making.

It is hoped the disadvantages discussed here will shape your thinking and change your perspective on premarital sex.

Premarital sex can lead to unplanned pregnancies. Since those involved may be unemployed, they may find it difficult taking good care of themselves until the baby arrives. Girls may experience complications during child birth because their organs may not be well developed for pregnancy.

The people involved in premarital sex may expose themselves to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) including the deadly HIV/AIDS. Those who get infected may experience bodily itching, skin lesions, purulent discharge from their sex organs and bodily disfigurement.

Premarital sex can be addictive. They often have multiple sex partners.

Some people may not want to marry a lady who has had sex with another person before. They label them “second hand wives” who they should not marry.

In like manner girls with multiple sex partners cannot be trusted to remain faithful even after marriage. If somebody is a thief who says he has stopped stealing, once in a while he will steal. It is believed such people will engage in amorous relationships when they get married.

Premarital sex can lead to many psychological problems. These include guilt feelings, low self-esteem, depression, emotional instability, embarrassment, shame and name –calling. The girls may be tagged with the accolade “cheap”.

Bible condemns all forms of immorality which includes premarital sex. To have sexual intercourse before marriage is therefore a sin. This can spoil one’s relationship with God.

There is loss of reputation for those who engage in premarital sex. They become the subject for gossip by people in private and public places.

Premarital sex can create problems when such people eventually marry. Fact is they carry their emotional wounds into marriage which can create conflict and disharmony.

Forced and unwanted marriages are often the result of premarital sex. Unprepared for marriage, such couple may irritate each other leading to conflict and confusion which in turn can lead to unhappiness and divorce.

Premarital sex which has gained roots is a sign of the moral degeneration in our society today.

We have identified the problems and challenges associated with the canker.

The million dollar question is: what is the way forward?

My candid advice to all but most importantly the young ones is this: flee from all forms of immorality.

The Bible exhorts us in 1Peter1:14-16 as follows: “Be obedient to God and do not allow your lives to be shaped by those desires you had when you were still ignorant. Instead, be holy in all that you do, just as God who called you is holy. The scripture says, “Be holy because I am holy.” Your best defense against temptation to commit sexual sin is to fill your mind with the word of God. Remind yourself that sexual sin is an abdominal thing to God.

Don’t associate yourself with somebody with loose morals; he will tempt you to commit acts that are deemed immoral.

Stay away from sexually suggestive books, magazines, sex videos, movies, and films that may excite your sexual feelings and lead to immorality.

Parents must endeavor to meet the needs of their wards and not push them into the streets to look for men who may not be charitable enough but will demand sex before parting with their money or expensive gifts.

Education is a right to which every child is entitled. Parents have an obligation to ensure that their children enroll in school and receive the best of education. A country’s development depends on its educated citizens.

Sexual issues are considered a taboo and not discussed in the home and other public places. Parents should talk to their children about the dangers and implications of premarital sex.

Educational institutions should take up the challenge to provide the young ones with relevant information on sexuality and sexual reproductive health. As much as possible abstinence should be encouraged.

The churches and Faith-Based organizations, gender advocates must be at the frontier leading the crusade against the phenomenon of premarital sex and other forms of immorality.

The law of chastity prohibits all forms of sexual immorality. The young ones should, therefore, strive for sexual purity.

Personal commitment and self-discipline to avoid wrong doing should become an integral part of our life. The Bible has a record when Joseph refused to have sex with his master’s wife who made an attempt to cajole him into the immoral act. Joseph then was young, well-built and handsome.

When the woman asked Joseph to go to bed with her, this was what he told her: “Look, my master does not have to concern himself with anything in the house, because I am here. He has put me in charge of everything he has. I have as much authority in this house as he has, and he has not kept back anything from me except you. How then could I do such an immoral thing and sin against God? Although she asked Joseph day after day, he would not go to bed with her”. (Genesis 39:8-10). It was love of God and a personal commitment to not do wrong that helped Joseph to overcome the temptation to sin. We all need such an attitude and discerning mind during periods of temptations. We should let love not lust to rule our lives.

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