The Tale Of The 500 Recruits

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, them. Welcome to our STRAIGHT TALK programme. My name Ras Holy. Your host on your favorite radio talk show – STRAIGHT TALK.

We talk straight here, good people. No magomago. No polititrick talk. Yeah, mon. We talk it straight. We have lined up another controversial topic to set the nation afire. We rejiggle you. We inform you. We educate you, while not neglecting to entertain you. We make you think! Yes, think. We speak power to the powerful.

We burn Holy Ghost Fire pon all unrighteous people. Fire Burn. Oh, Ghana! We have big, big news that the Ghana Armed Force, sorry the Ghana Army fired 500 people who protested at the recruitment center. Ah, Ghana! Thins dey happin o! Chai! Eish!!! So, some people, young people, went to join the army. No one invited them, o. They filled application form and all that.

The 500 were chosen from among the thousand upon thousand upon thousand of people that applied. We know how high the unemployment rate is our beautiful republic. Thanks to Dumsor, incompetency and all that. We no mention any name, o, I beg! So, as I was saying these guys went to the Army recruitment center. And listen to this, our young people find the training too hard. They have chop too much Banku. Too much Kenke. Too much Tuo Zafi. Hey! Yes, the lazybones thought army na joke.

Their big, fat stomach did not allow them to endure the training. They quit. They did not stop there, they march in protest to their commander’s house waving flags, shouting and all that. In an army center. Oh, my god, what a sin tin! Anyways, let’s go on. Of course the army dismissed the useless bunch. And today we heard that the dismissed recruits are going to court to sue the Ghana Army. Abomination. Sacrilege in the land. Big time abomination.

You are going to sue the army, because you find the training too tough. Who invited you? O, Ghana! Fire burn! Ha! Anywhichways, let’s go on with our talk show. As usual, we call upon experts to help shed some light on this ongoing palaver in the land. Ministers stealing. Dumsor collapsing our economies. Our president says that we are not competent and all that.

The competent one agreed to bring American terrorists to the land. Fire burn! We leave all that aside for today. We get on with these lazybones affairs. You suing the army because you cannot cope with their training. Do you want the army to make special training for you? And if you pass your own special training, they will also send you to your own special war. Kwasia sem! Anywhichways, we have an expert on security, Professor Jude Ashong of the Kofi Annan Peace Center to help us shed some light on the matter. And as it is our habit we like to hear from the other side, so we have the self-declared president of the Association of Ghana’s Maligned Recruits, Mr. George Woyogbe in the studio to give his side of the story. Gentlemen, welcome to the studio. Shall we begin with you, Mr. Woyogbe, kindly tell us your side of the story, what happened at the recruitment center that resulted in your being dismissed and sent home?

Mr. Woyogbe (MW): Thank you, thank you. The army people are very wicked. We are Ghanaians and we know our rights. They cannot treat us anyhow. Why? The constitution guaranteed us the right to assemble and protest. The constitution is the highest law in the law. The army people cannot behave anyhow. We are no longer under military rule. I have voted in three elections. I have participated in all my civic duties. So, I know my right. The army cannot just take the laws into their hand. We cannot accept the casual way they dismissed and sent us home. What we are going to do now is to take them to court. We are ….

Professor Jude (PJ): Thank you Ras for your invitation and sorry for the invitation. Many thanks to our listeners across the land. To begin with, let me admit that I failed to understand what my fellow panelist is talking about. He said that they are going to sue the Ghana army. If that is the case, I say Goodluck to them. But maybe he will do his case some justice if he can properly articulate for us what exactly got them so upset to start protesting at an army camp.

Ras Holy (RH): Okay, Mr. Woyogbe, the ball is back in your court. Can you tell us what exactly you and your group are angry with, and on what grounds you are going to sue the Ghana army?

MW: Thank you, Mr. Presenter. But I think your man here is not being fair to me and my association. If it were his children who were so callously treated, will he sit down and do nothing…

PJ: Let us try not to get personal here. Sorry if my comment cut through you. But try to tell us what the Ghana army did to you and your group that warranted your action to march in protest.

MW: Please try to be fair. We are young people. We are Ghanaians. We deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. The fact that we apply to the army should not make them treat us like animals…

Ras Holy (RH): Sorry to cut you, Mr. Woyogbe. But we are giving you the opportunity here to state your own case. Tell the world what the army did wrong to make you resort to protest marching. This is your chance to state your own case.

MW: Yes, I was coming to that. Please, I was going to come to that. The training was too much for us. No human being can do it.

PJ: I am sorry that I have to chuckle, but our man here is being funny. Army trainings are designed for human beings. The army will not expect to send animals to battle, so they will not designed their training for animals. I also happen to know as a matter of fact that the Ghana among is among the most professionalized army on the continent of Africa, if not in the world. And if you ask me, the army have being using the same standardized training since the beginning of time. Naturally they will upgrade them to suit the exigencies of current imperatives, but there is nothing in the training that was not designed to be used by a human being with average intelligence and abilities…

MW: Were you there, ehn, were you there?
PJ: let’s try not to be emotional about this. It so happen that I am a consultant to the Ghana Armed Forces, as am to a host of national armies across Africa. I surely know what I am talking about.

MW: But that is different from going into the trenches. Anyone can sit behind a big desk and talk big, but let them put you through those training and you will know what we are talking about. No human being can survive those conditions.

PJ: There we go again with another emotional outburst. The training of officers is no different from what you are made to go through at the infantry level. If anything, it is more robust, if only because as officer, he has to be able to see the whole picture, to master both strategy and tactics. I don’t need to go into trenches to know what is going on; I helped designed some of the training courses.

MW: Because you helped to design them does not mean that you can survive them. I know what I talk about; those training are too difficult for ordinary human beings.

PJ: Sorry, I really have to laugh again. I also feel very sad and sorry for the state our beloved Ghana is in. What type of country we are when young boys do not want to exercise their brains or muscle? Everyone is looking for the easiest way out. I am sorry to say this, but it looks like Ghana is going to the dogs. That is if it has not already done so. That is the tragedy of our beloved nation. The armed forces remain the only institution that still exercises some form of self-discipline. Discipline has collapse in our land. No one want to work, yet we all want to eat. The young boys and girls want the easy life. Just imagine the cheek, you got out of your house to go and apply to join the army. Mind you, no one invited you. You went on your own volition. You filled a form and was selected among the numerous applicants. You went and you want the army to change its training to suit you because you are too lazy to cope. Be real, my friend. What is the world coming to? Just imagine the audacity…

MW: We know our right…
PJ: Don’t forget your left. Kai! You guys are lucky that we in a civilian regime. If you try that under army rule, you will be made to face a court-martial which might result in your being shot…

MW: Shot, for what?
PJ: Mutiny is a treasonable offense in the army. You think the army will accept any type of nonsense that will result in the breakdown of discipline?

RH: Wow. Jah bless, every time. We bon Fire pon Babylon and is evilish agents. We set fire pon Guantanamo. Wow. The programme is your favorite STRAIGHT TALKS. Beaming to you from Accra in Afreeeeeka. My name ras Holy. For real. Today we talk to special people. Mr. Woyogbe is telling us that he and his dismissed colleagues are going to sue the army for wrongful dismissal. Professor Jude Ashong is telling we that no such thing should happen in the army. The learned man say that if you join the army, you agree to forfeit some of your civilian rights, and you have to abide by the army rules. Mr. Woyogbe, let us turn back to you, did the army invite you and your colleagues?

MW: No, but…
PN: That is sufficient, thank you. So, so, you and your colleague were not invited by the army. If I overstand you correctly, you applied to join an exclusive club, but you want the rules to be changed to suit you, is that correct?

MW: We are citizens of Ghana and the constitution is clear on how citizens should be treated, we know our rights.

RH Thank you, Mr. Woyogbe. Professor, any last word?

PJ: Thank you for inviting me. As I said earlier, these guys are indeed very lucky that we live in a civilian dispensation. To be honest with you, I think the commander was very lenient with them. If I were to be in charge, I will strip the lot of them naked and frog-marched them on the double to their various homes. That will teach them some lessons they will never forget for the rest of their miserable lives.

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