Forgive and Forget

To err is human, to forgive, divine. - Alexander Pope

Feeling hurt is something we all experience in life. I am sure there have been occasions when you felt devastated or upset by what somebody said or did to you. For instance, unsavory remarks, insulting words, false accusations, and blatant lies, being sidelined during promotions and when major decisions were being taken can make us feel terribly hurt. What would be your reaction under such circumstances?

Most people would want to take vengeance against the offender. We may have feelings of hatred or hold a grudge in our hearts against the offending individual. The real sufferer in these circumstances is not the offender but you. Feelings of resentment, anger, bitterness and sorrow can seriously impair your emotional and spiritual health.

The million dollar question is: What should be done when someone does something wrong against us?

We should forgive. That is what God commands us to do. In the book of Doctrine and Covenants 64:9-11 the word of God says, “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your hearts-let God judge between me and thee and reward thee according to thy deeds.”

The apostle Matthew advises us to forgive. He wrote: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ (Matthew 6:14-15)

Forgiveness is a great way to improve your own life. It contributes to your overall good health. Instead of resentment, you will feel empathic towards the wrong doer. The people who mistreat you and put up annoying behavior may have deep seated problems they are struggling with. You need not worsen their situation with reprisals; they need support and understanding. Joel Osteen, philosopher and theologian wrote: “Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily.”

Painful situations are a part of life, but your perceptions of these situations makes all the difference. If you hold onto grudges and resentments, these may likely be holding you back from leading a happy life. Forgive and let go of the past.

Have a large heart to forgive people. It can lead to healthier relationships, de-stress you, promote better immune system, contribute to happiness, joy and inner peace. It can de-clutter your mind and pave the way for clearer thoughts and vision. It can also promote better self esteem and confidence so you can prosecute your desires and achieve the life you desire and deserve.

Even though forgiveness enables an individual to enter into a new life, it is one of the most difficult things to do. If you have found this a challenge, remember when you wronged somebody and he forgave you. On the same premise, you too can forgive others. If you won’t forgive others, don’t expect forgiveness from any other.

Forgiveness is a process and not a one- time event. People may hurt your feelings either consciously or unconsciously; place yourself in that person’s situation, would you have acted differently? Reflecting on this will make you feel compassionate towards that person rather than harboring hatred and resentment.

In conclusion, hurtful situations are bound to come. Learn to manage such unpleasant situations in a manner that will not shatter your life. The spirit of God cannot work in a body that is tensed up as a result of feelings of grudge, resentment and anger. These should be released through forgiveness. My favourite quote on forgiveness comes from Lewis B. Smedes who wrote, “When you release the wrong doer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself.”

Yours in inspiration,
AWOLUGUTU ARK
Correction Officer, Priest & Author.