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08.08.2015 Feature Article

El, NPP Strong Pass Dwarfs Now?

El, NPP Strong Pass Dwarfs Now?
08.08.2015 LISTEN

K1 - Koo, do I look mad?
K2 - Oh Koo, why should you look like a madman?

  • Well, Koo, if I don’t look mad, then there is something wrong with the system that is supposed to signal our mental state to the rest of the world….
  • Hey, be careful oh! These days, judges can assume the role of licensed psychiatrists, without being sanctioned by their employers. If I were to look at you and conclude that you were mad, would I not be validating the judge’s conclusion that Charles Antwi is sane and can therefore be sentenced totwice the maximum penalty for the offence with which he was charged?
  • Koo, why haven’t the judge’s seniors said a word about this case?
  • Koo, judges are appointed by the President after they have been recommended by a Judicial Council on which the Ghana Bar Association is represented!
  • What? And the Bar Association cannot make an official pronouncement on this issue? Can’t the GBA get the Judicial Council to take it up?
  • Koo, there are certain issues in this country that are tossed into a Deep Dark Pits of Darkness [DDPD] never to be heard of again.
  • Examples?
  • The case of Madam Ama Hema, the 72-year-old woman who was burnt to death at Tema in broad daylight, merely because she had entered the wrong house by mistake whilst looking for the house of her son.
  • Such an error - probably caused by dementia - cost her life, yes!
  • Her killers appeared twice or thrice in court, and then the case mysteriously disappeared into the Deep Pit of Darkness.
  • Another example?
  • Did you not hear that a public authority had paid a huge sum of money - upfront - to a company that was supposed to collect revenue for it? It was paid before it had collected a pesewa? That case too went DDPD!
  • And another!
  • Hey - when did you elect me to Parliament to become a public watchdog?
  • It just seems amazing that with the Judicial Council, the Human Rights Commission and the Bar Association looking on, such things can occur in our judicial system.
  • Hmm! So much frustration can be created - even by our Supreme Court. Remember the famous exclamation: 'You and I were not there!'?
  • Hahahahahaha!
  • My friend, let us leave this subject before we are charged with contempt of court!
  • Contempt of court?
  • Yes! Doctors bury their mistakes. Teachers titter in the tea-room at their colleagues’ mistakes. The judiciary, on the other hand, has power to charge you with contempt, if it’s not pleased with the way and manner you point out its mistakes!
  • Thank you! Upon your advice, I shall now move into a completely different area of obtuseness: did you hear that Madam Anita De Soso was back in the news, supplying new explanations to some of the social phenomena of our time?
  • Isn’t she in good form! What did she say about the doctors who are agitating for more pay?
  • Here it is: QUOTE '[The] immediate-past national women organizer of the ruling National Democratic Congress (NDC), Anita De Soso, has claimed [that] it is the opposition New Patriotic Party (NPP) that is 'pushing' the Ghana Medical Association (GMA) to make 'outrageous demands' from the government….. She said it is the NPP that is behind the nationwide indefinite strike embarked upon by the doctors that…. had created chaos in the health sector.' UNQUOTE
  • But Koo, I thought her forte lay in diagnosing the nefarious activities of dwarfs, in relation to the Ghana economy? I mean, didn’t she say that some dwarfs were flying Cedis in articulated-aircraft to Yamoussoukro or was it Anibleklou, thereby making the Cedi fall down to earth, when changed into CFA francs and other currencies?
  • I think her diagnostic powers have been recalibrated. Now, she is delving into the deep recesses of doctors’ political predilections.
  • Tu bra! (Bring on the English words).
  • Well, I could say doctors’ political orientation but….listen, stop interrupting, ok? You’re making me confuse myself.
  • Sorry oh! If you confuse yourself, what will happen to me?
  • Transmogrified into transfiguration!
  • Awirade ei!(Dear Lord).
  • Ok, now listen. Someone should tell Madam Anita that it is totally disrespectful for her to assume that trained doctors who can tell her how many times a female’s her pudenda has disgorged menstrual fluids by merely looking into her mouth; and who can replace desiccated hip-bones in an old lady and transform her into a passable sexual partner again - within reasonable limits, of course -
  • Okay, okay! We all know that it takes at least seven years to train a doctor….
  • I don’t think she is fully aware of the ability of the modern doctor’s brain to capture information! Does she realise that the average doctor can easily expect to see at least one hundred different people per day - and that he or she needs to be able to talk to them about any subject under the sun, in order to put them at their ease? Does she know that the doctors are considered to have failed in their task if they don’t engage in 'small talk' with patients before interrogating them on the horrendous ailments that take them to see doctors?
  • And yet, after all that, doctors cannot make decisions about their own service conditions without being prodded by a political party?
  • How patronising!
  • Next time Madam De Soso goes to see her gynaecologist, she should be asked to bring an NDC politician along to ensure that the doctor does not attempt to change her political views.
  • Hahahahahahahahahahaha!.


www.cameronduodu.com
By Cameron Duodu

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