Ei, Na Wig Dey Cost So Much?

K1: I've been missing your funny pieces! You've been talking about Ebola, Ebola….

K2: So you'd much rather I let you laugh than try and save your life? If we don't get everyone to take precautions against Ebola, there will be no-one left to laugh at anything! Do you know what Ebola reminds me of?

K1: No!
K2: Remember when we were kids and you were sometimes naughty and your mother punished you? And at times she'd order you not to cry, on pain of being walloped some more!

KI: Do I remember? It was the worst part of being punished. At least, if you cried, you'd get the ' injustice' off your chest!

K2: Well, isn't Ebola like that, in a way? If it attacks you, and a doctor or nurse tries to assist you to recover from it, and he or she does not take extra care, he or she would also be attacked by Ebola!

K!: A truly diabolical disease,which, kills both patient, doctor and nurse, and does not spare even those who bury you after you are dead.

K2: Well, I promise you, Koo,that this week I shall make you laugh. Do you know that $7 billion is spent each year in Africa on hair products?

K1: What? $7 billion?
K2: Koo, I am telling you! It is unbeliev-able, isn't it? And yet we are the only p e o p l e whose natural hair looks g o o d whether (1) we shave our heads altogeth-er, or cut it short (tikwa/sakora); and that goes for both men and women!

K1: Koo, I've never understood why our women, especially, go to all that trouble to look like European women. With African hair, you don't need to stretch it. Also, because it is tough, you can easily plait it…. And you can cover it with a fetching headgear.

K2: Hmmm, Koo - nowadays, some women even add long strings of artificially plaited hair to their own plaited hair!

K1: I blame us men. When a woman puts on an enormous wig, or adds artificial extensions to her plaited hair, and she tosses her head and makes eyes at us, we go crazy, instead of being truthful and saying, 'Hey, Mama-Lou, all that is not necessary oh! As the Black Beats song said ages ago, 'As for me, I love you the way you are!'

K2: Koo, I don't think it is fair to blame us, the men . First of all, many women do not always dress or 'doll' themselves up to impress us men. They do it to impress on another. They are, in effect, asking each other, 'Can you me? My hairdo cost GH¢200. How much did yours cost? I have to book a hairdresser three weeks in advance before I can get attended to. What is the wait-ing time of your hairdress-er? It is things like that that they worry about, not necessarily what you and I think.

After all, they know that as far as many of us men are concerned, if we had our way,

we would take them straight to bed and get it over with!

K1: Koo, you'd better put an end to this conversation. If a little bird goes to tell that beautiful lady you have been phoning that this is your mind-set, she'd delete your telephone number from her SIM card immediately!

K2: Koo, you are not going to turn into a 'little bird', are you?

K!: Oh Koo! How can you even suggest that? You know that me ne wo mmienu deƐ .. (As for me and you, as for the two of us….!)

K2: Ho, I've heard that before! I was once somewhere enjoying a beer with a friend and a newly-found love when I saw an old flame of mine making a beeline for our table. I quickly took my 'friend' aside and begged him to take the new love home for me, since she'd said she had something to do there and I'd been delaying her.

The man agreed and I told my newbie that I had a business deal to seal with the lady who was coming our way and that would delay her some more, so my friend had kindly agreed to drop her home for me. They soon left and I was full of congratulations for myself for having been able to stave off an embarrassing scene. Ha - do you know what my friend did?

K1: No! Did he….?
K2: As he drove girl away, he revealed to her that the lady I claimed to be discussing business with was actually my girlfriend, and that I had asked him to take her away, as if she stayed, she would see signs of intimacy between me and the lady and realise that we were lovers!

K 1 :W H A A A A A AT ! Koo - that was most ungentlemanly!

K2: What made it more painful was that I would never have suspect-ed that he was capable of doing anything like that. So much did I trust him. Fortunately for me, the lady he'd tried to capture from me was really fond of me, and she came and told me the whole story, and warned me, 'That 'friend' of yours is no friend of yours!' she said. Of course, I became extremely cold towards the guy and we drifted apart!

K1: Amazing! But then, they say that all is fair in love and war…..

K2: Koo, all is fair my foot! You drink a guy's beer in buckets and then try to stab him in the back? That is not war! That is murder! Sheer, calculated, cold-blooded murder!

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