YOUR ROADMAP TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Your Roadmap To A successful Marriage
By Abundant Robert K. AWOLUGUTU
It makes no difference how successful you are as a businessman, lawyer, accountant, skilled worker If your home life is not happy, you are not going to be happy because the home is number one. Everything springs from the home.

-Michael Penetar.
Marriage is an institution that God himself established. His word on marriage is instructive: 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.'(Gen.2: 34).

Marriage can be a wonderful and exciting experience or a terrible and devastating thing to be avoided. It is supposed to be a lifelong affair and not an agreement that can be abrogated with the least threat or conflict. The couple must be determined and committed to its success.

There are certain things we can do to make our marriages thrive and succeed. A willingness on the part of the couple is crucial to marriage success.

The power of prayer
Both partners must pray together. This is a way of inviting God into the marriage. God's word has practical wisdom for resolving conflict and consolidating the union. Studying the Bible and praying together can pave the way for the couple to receive divine blessings and unmerited favour of God. When husband and wife pray together, they will begin to see themselves not through their individual eyes but through the eyes of the living God.

Love each other unconditionally
The couple must love each other unconditionally. It is this kind of love which promotes peace and happiness in the home. In the Bible, love which guarantees a flourishing marriage is described as follows: 'Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs, love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail.' ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) . Love is the glue that binds marriage together.

Be faithful to each other
Husband and wife must be faithful to each other. Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. The couple must deal honestly with each other. There is the need for transparency in how they relate and do things. The lack of trust is a recipe for confusion and misunderstanding that can cause the marriage to hit the rocks. The relationship can be protected if both partners demonstrate integrity in all aspects of their marital life.

Be a good listener
Listening is a vital key to a healthy relationship with our spouse. It enables us to understand their perspective and their needs. Create an atmosphere for open and frank discussions and be tolerant of the views of your spouse. As your mate speaks, do not interject but listen attentively to understand and appreciate whatever concerns have been raised. Be self-controlled and avoid unnecessary arguments that could lead to blows or serious conflict. Try to strike a compromise and adjust your thoughts to meet the needs of your partner.

Treat your spouse with dignity
Try living harmoniously with your spouse. Bible says, 'Relish life with the spouse you love, each and every day of your precarious life.' (Ecclesiastes 9:9). Treat your mate with respect and dignity. Hold the person in high esteem. Compliment her for positive achievements. Be supportive of your spouse in times of failure, disappointments and sad moments. Do things together to promote unity and understanding.

Help your mate develop talent
Help your partner explore her potential and develop talents and abilities. Give support that will help your spouse succeed in her job and other activities. Show sincere appreciation for her efforts. Do not engage in negative talk. Speak success into the life of your spouse.

Make yourself attractive
Pay serious attention to your appearance. Make an effort to keep yourself attractive and appealing to your partner. Your clothes should be neat and attractive. Your environment should be clean and your rooms very well ventilated and decorated. When we do not wash down properly our bodies give out an offensive odor. It is therefore crucial to maintain personal hygiene.

No third party interference
Do not open your marriage to third party interference. Third parties can take advantage of marital problems to cause the collapse of such a marriage. Parents should not do anything that will destroy the marriage of their children. As much as possible the couple should try to resolve their misunderstanding amicably without third party. Friends and relatives should keep off your marriage. Nobody should dictate what you should or should not do.

Spend quality time with your spouse
Home is the best place for a couple to enjoy peace and happiness. Unfortunately some people get so busy they do not have time for their partners. You need to spend quality time with your spouse. Play games; listen to melodious music or share ideas and experiences around such moments. This can heal and strengthen the relationship.

Sex is highest form of intimacy
Sex is a gift from God and is meant to be enjoyable and refreshing for both. Do not starve your partner of sex. Relish your partner during sex. Let your mate know how exciting and pleasurable your experience has been. Sex is not about who is smart but about perfect love. Sex can de-stress you; enjoy it daily if possible. If your partner has a difficult sex life, get external help from the experts for instance from a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Willingness to forgive
Be willing to forgive your spouse who has hurt your feelings. You may feel let down by your spouse as a result of uncomplimentary remarks or utterances. Handle such situations without being emotional and reactionary. An apology to your partner could calm nerves and bring healing to you both. Do not return evil for evil. Always leave vengeance for God.

Marriage counsellors
A couple who has no experience can subscribe to a magazine that talks about marriage. You can also attend a marriage retreat to learn from experienced couples and professional counselors. They are always willing to mentor and share their knowledge with others.

Celebrate your marriage
Couples can also celebrate their marriage in thoughtful and creative ways. Tell your spouse how delighted you are to be with her/him and find ways to show each other kindness, appreciation, affection and support.

Conclusion
In conclusion, marriage can be a wonderful relationship or a terrible thing to keep off. The couple must be willing to make it work. The ingredients for a sustainable and successful marriage have been discussed above. Until I come your way next week, cheers and take care.

Yours in inspiration,
Abundant Robert AWOLUGUTU
Email: [email protected]
Mob: 0208 455 296