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06.08.2012 Feature Article

Tools For Raising Your Child

Tools For Raising Your Child
06.08.2012 LISTEN

Tools For Raising Your Child
Family is the oldest human institution. In many ways it is the most important. It is society's most basic unit. Entire civilizations have survived or disappeared, depending on whether family life was strong or weak.

-The World Book Encyclopedia (1973).
Bertrand Russell, British philosopher, once wrote: “Happiness is absolutely necessary for the development of the best kind of human being.” We know from experience that the family plays a critical role in the development of the human being.

A family can either exert a positive or negative influence on its members. This is particularly true during the periods of infancy and adolescence when children come under the influence of parents, siblings and significant others.

A close-knit family that is characterized by warm relationships, peace and happiness can facilitate the holistic development of the human being. That is because the child experiences enhanced self esteem, acceptance and security. It is this kind of atmosphere that is needed for family success.

The family is an informal educational institution. Our parents are usually our first teachers. They impart certain values to us. Miguel De Cervantes remarked, “It is good that children inherit and learn everything positive from their parents, and better that they perfect it.” What significant things can we learn from our family members especially our parents?

Many and they must include what will help us become successful in life; such as work ethic, honesty, integrity, patriotism, discipline and moral uprightness among others.

We need to build strong families, families that can withstand the pressures and stresses of modern living.

Friend, the kind of family we have envisaged in which people can develop and reach their potential will not happen automatically. There are certain things we can do to make our families rest on a sound foundation to ensure a healthy development for all.

When we are faced with worries, anxiety, disappointments, discouragements and other numerous challenges, the family can offer us the needed emotional support. Wise counsel from your parents can help you deal with your challenges more confidently.

It is one thing getting married and quite another keeping the marriage solid and strong. Before you married your partner, you probably had very high expectations of him or her. Soon differences will emerge and if these are not properly handled, they could lead to conflict and disintegration of the family. The marriage relationship must continue to be nurtured. Love your partner unconditionally. As much as possible avoid disparaging remarks and speak words that heal. Abusive behaviours must be avoided. Be an inspirer and role model to your children. Let your children appreciate the value of living in a harmonious family.

Effective communication is essential for family success. Your partner is your helper. Share your joys, sorrows and problems with your spouse. Your relationship with your partner should be warm and cordial. Do not scream at your partner. Find an amicable solution to your problems. Listen to your partner and create an enabling environment for the successful resolution of your differences. Be an encourager to your spouse and children. Discipline your children with love. Do not put them under unnecessary stress as this can adversely affect their future development and progress.

The early years are critical in a child's development. A child's development begins when he takes his first breath of air. Learning is always taking place irrespective of age. The habits that will last a lifetime begin to form during early childhood development. We should teach children principles that will help them become successful in life. Bible gives this kind of admonition in Prov.22:6 as follows: “Teach children how they should live and they will remember it all their lives.” Do not beat up or criticize a child who has made a mistake. Instead let the child learn from his mistake so it is not repeated. Help the child correct his /her mistakes.

Work is important as it puts money in our purse to enable us maintain and care for our family. That notwithstanding, we need to spend quality time with our spouses and children. As a very wise person commented, “Time dedicated to children, both inside and outside the home environment, leaves permanent marks upon their lives. Therefore this time should be seen as a positive investment.” Bedtime stories, for instance, not only entertain but equally educate children. It promotes the mental development of the child.

Education is critical for success in life. It is the responsibility of parents to give their children good education. When parents know the developmental stages of children, they can give guidance that will positively influence children in their educational pursuits.

The family can make a positive or negative impression on a child. What people say or do to a child will either raise or lower his self esteem. Low self esteem can be a stumbling block to success in life. Help your child discover his potential and release it for the good of humankind. Celebrate his successes. Help him focus on what he can do best. Encourage him to become a top-notch achiever in life.

We need a just and humane world. That can only be achieved if families are established on strong foundations that facilitate the holistic development of the human being.

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