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31.03.2011 Feature Article

The Elections Are Here, April Polls Or April Fool?

The Elections Are Here, April Polls Or April Fool?
31.03.2011 LISTEN

Barring any calamitous unforeseen circumstance or events, after the fools' day on the 1st of April 2011, the Nigerian public will commence another journey in its quest at getting it right.

For the first run of elections which is the National Assembly, it comes a day after the fools day and with nearly a quarter of the National Assembly not returning Nigerians will be voting in and out persons that will make the mystery hallowed chambers less of a fool's paradise.

For a National Assembly whose most significant exploit has been the truncating of the third term, other than that, in its entire life span it has been plagued by fools' acts of one nature or the other. If they are not sharing money, they are busy accusing their leaders of looting it out rightly. When they are not on recess they are asking Ministers to take a bow and leave.

If it is not anticipatory approval, then it is sure about furniture allowance, when the banana peel is not slippery, the apple accounts are swelling for a group that has accounted for us being one of the most expensive democracies.

It's been a conglomeration of men and women that have seen nothing foolish in allowing persons that cannot recite the National anthem allowed to represent Nigeria outside the nation.

A company of Nigerians that continue to fool us that they are working for us while they go home with mouth-watering salaries and allowances.

At least even the dumbest man that can read, hear and see knows that the Nigerian worker earns N18,0000 as minimum wage (even if the president signed the bill secretly) but we are still at a fools bay not knowing the exact amount our representatives and senators earn.

We are sloganeering that its one man, one woman and according to the vice President Sambo, "one child", one vote. As we seek to re-arrange the seats, will our votes count? Is it possible that at the end of the first elections that the PDP will be in the minority and remain so, will it not be a case of cross-carpeting and green-snaking under the green grass and will it again not be a case of our politicians closing ranks in perpetually keeping us bondage.

Despite the best efforts of our security agencies, who while underneath every situation will seek to fool us that they are on top of it, we will still have pockets of violence, not because we are violent by nature, but rather our politicians living in their fools delusive grandeur will seek to as usual manipulate, rig and twist the rules.

How is the National Assembly elections expected to influence the presidential, will it be again Jonathan , Jonathan, Jonathan, Goodluck, Jonathan or Buhari, Buhari, Jonathan, Buhari, Jonathan and Jonathan. Will it be landslide, seaslide, riggedslide or the people's votes will be foolishly slide into a fractious conflict.

For the common man, one wonders, Jonathan has asked that no one rig on his behalf, Buhari has threatened that anyone caught trying to should be though what happens to corrupt people in China while the other minorities...Ribadu, Utomi (withdrew from the race), Dele Momodu are telling us that when they become president come May 29 2011 they will do this and do that. Fact is that we are living a fool's paradise...for Jonathan to loose, April fool must be real...

As the polls for the gubernatorial brings Nigeria's elections to a conclusion will it herald change, is it possible that we will see our Hillary Clintons work with Obama or our court houses will be full of litigations and many will not even see the May 29 handover.

In terms of awareness, never seen Nigerians this conscious over an electoral process, '79 was close but nothing compared to this age of BB, facebook, twitter, and sweeter lies by the soft-spoken oratorical abusive players from all the sides.

In Kwara, will Saraki continue in the family tradition fooling the people that only the Sarakis have the choloroquine to the malaria?

In Benue, is Suswan's swan song over, who blinks or fools first Jang or Tallen in an exciting bout of a duo with no love lost? In Lagos, most people say Fashola has done well, but democracy is about choice, numbers and de-consensus, so the field is big enough for the umblella, it may be torn but no gainsaying that some will attempt to fool a few.

In the east, we can as usual expect a certain level of voters' apathy although it will be minimal, but will it be enough to bring in the usual suspects or enough to throw out the foolish ones...Its Rochas, Ararume and Ohakim in a game of three jobmen, who out-fools who?

Apart from Kano, Kwara, Ogun, Borno where it's an open field, who can predict Oyo, will the bleaching Akala, fool the electorates about the true colour of his skin. How hot will Bayelsa be, who will fool who, or poll less fools, given the violence that has preceded the elections.

In many a state the status quo will remain, but at the expense of several battles, Akwa Ibom is not left out, Katsina is one, Bauchi another. However the fact remains that these elections will indeed test our resolve to stick by the tape that binds us either tightly or loosely as Nigerians.

We will after one long month know whether some N87billion went down the drain, whether we can improve on the process or the spending. Whether Jega will be hailed or scorned, if Iwu will have the last laugh, say I told you all or he will hide foolishly in shame. Whether the security agents can secure both votes and people or will they be the culprits?

We are never prepared for anything; we depend on mother luck, more so now that there is a goodluck in the picture, we rather than work assiduously, prefer magic to miracles, and all that hogwash.

The days ahead have dark clouds, will it be a case of our never say die attitude scaling through with minor skirmishes, or widespread violence, some rough talk, huff and puff of the fist and we realize that it was all a case of April fool...the stage is set, we have choices to make, let's make them and rightly too, everyman, woman to his/her conscience.

Prince Charles Dickson
Editor, burningpot.com

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