The dignity of pot-bellies

One of the tragic mistakes people make is that they think every pot-belly is the consequence of beer quaffing. In other words, there is the mistaken belief that every man carrying a pot about the mid-section has invested his salary in the beer industry, the profit of which shows, in front of him as a well-defined pot.

The truth, however, is that every pot-belly has its history, from the day it was christened to present-day. Some are merely the permanent habitat of worms, others are a result of malnutrition and still others are diseased. Some forms of hepatitis can result in a massive belly. It means the liver has developed an abscess.

In ordinary society, anyone developing a pot-belly is given some form of reverence. It means that the man has decided to prosper, and how best can he showcase the beginning of prosperity than displaying the conspicuousness of his belly?

Even in some prosperity churches, the pastor's belly is a clear definition of what the church stands for. The pastor fasts alright but the belly has simply come to stay. There is no redemption for it. The circumference of the belly determines the quantum of prosperity that can be bestowed on the faithful.

The beer industry has been vilified for turning very slim individuals into pregnant folks, albeit with slim buttocks. Wives have desperately begged their husbands to go off beer so as to lose their massive bellies. The bewildered husbands have wondered what went wrong with women. Go off beer and drink diesel or palm oil or what?

Some husbands who loved their wives or pretended to sometimes went off beer for as long as three years, hoping that their 'pot-bellies will reduce in form and capacity. The disappointing news is that it didn't! In some cases, the pot-belly merely went down in size for a short period and grew larger than before. What a tragedy!

Funnily, those wives who thought their husbands had gone off booze but were still carrying wonderful pots in front of them, gave way to the suspicion that their husbands were either drinking beer out of sight or beyond midnight when their spouses were either dreaming or snoring.

It is indeed important to know that every pot-belly has its biography. Some men have not drank beer before in their lives, either because they did not have the opportunity or out of religious order. But they have unbelievable bellies that would be the envy of the most accomplished beer quaffer or quaffist.

So the question is this: Minus beer and disease, why have such teetotalers developed such marvelous bellies? The obvious answer is FOOD and genetics.

When it comes to genetics, we have people genetically born to grow fat and by extension bear pot-bellies that are merely fatty tissues.

In other words, they are fat because they inherited it from their forebears and even if they do not drink, they'd still have fat bellies. Needless to say, fatness runs in families and nothing can stop them from their fatty look and bearing.

Let us narrow it down now! Minus booze, disease and genetics what would make a belly grow? FOOD of course. When I talk about food, I'm always horrified, because I have met people who can really grub. It is not merely filling capacity, but they enjoy eating and can eat as if there is no tomorrow.

But I like such people because they are always hale and hearty. So long as there is food around, you're not likely to have problems with them. My only fear is whether their stomachs wouldn't, by any medical aberration decide to burst open! The spilled content would be horrifying to behold.

The story is told of the young school girl whose mummy fed her kokonte early in the morning as breakfast and she went to school well satisfied. Before the mid-morning break, however, the malaria that had lately been bothering her caused her to throw-up! And behold! Parents better stop embarrassing their children with these improper dieting!

But it isn't only children who have vomited. And what they brought out, their wives couldn't imagine. Well, the men went to girlfriends and ate all sorts of things, drank all sorts of booze and came home to throw it all up! The men say it is part of life! The women say it is a sin against the Holy Ghost.

One of the things I love but never get is morning fufu, around 10am, with light-soup. People say such fufu is the secret behind their success in life. "It makes me think like a human being," a friend once told me. Otherwise he thinks like an animal. '

Some people are early birds as far as food is concerned. My friend Soloso tells me that If he doesn't eat yorks or waakye by 6.30a.m. he is likely to start shaking if not trembling uncontrollably. Such heavy-duty breakfast can be justified on health grounds, but some can make you grow extra fat and turn you into a grotesque monster.

I remember those days l used to eat roasted pork and grew so fat that one evening, some children saw my huge build in a black over-coat and mistook me for sasabosam and ran for cover. When I went home and stood 'in front of the mirror I didn't blame the children at all. If l were a kid' I'd have ran faster.

Man has seen things in life. Man has eaten and drank it all! The truth is that everything you do, better do it in moderation, because going to the extreme can be dangerous. Food can save life, but it can also kill. The key is moderate eating - balanced diet, vegetables and please do some exercise for goodness sake. Join a keep-fit club if you can and go straight home after you exercise. Don't wind up in a beer joint.

Written by Merari Alomemle
Sikaman Palava
Email: [email protected]
Website: merarialomele.com
Credit: The Spectator