Dear Umaru Yardua – by Rufus Kayode Oteniya

How are you and your German medics? I am sure they are trying their best to ensure you are able to stand on your feet. Their best will always be good as long as the Divine Healer wants. Don't worry, we are also praying that this vibrant Nation

will have a strong and living leader since we know that no nation can rise above its leader. A dying leader can not lead a living nation. The creator knows how best to answer our prayer. You may stay clear of 'eating apple' for the moment since I can vouch that you do not have any business with the Filipino women. How is Turai? We are all amazed with the way she is steering the wheel and holding firm to the front seat of the nation. She's really a wonderful first female President. How is Zainab with Usman Saidu Nasamu Dakingari? I do hope she has overcome her struggles with the other Kebbi state first ladies. The office of the state first lady is naturally hers. Other wives can relegated to deputy first lady, senior assistant deputy first lady and assistant deputy first lady.

How are A'isha Nafisat and her hubby, Isa Yuguda doing in Bauchi State house? I hope Isa is not finding tough time with Farida over the N39.1 billion illegal loans he took from FinBank without the approval of his state House of Assembly. I trust you'd come to his aid. Anyway which father-in-law would not rescue such a loyal in-law who could abandon the party that brought him to power to join his papa-in-law without losing his gubernatorial seat.

How is your third point agenda coping with her boyfriend, Alhaji Abdurrahman Musa Bashir Rahamaniyya and the heavy burden of non performing debts? Make sure you call Lamido Sanusi to order so that Farida can let him off the hook. As a future in-law, can't they simply understand that he has the right to decide which loan to pay back and which one to hold back. How are the other points of the agenda? Any gubernatorial suitors in sight for them? If you care, I overheard that Governors Muazu Babangida Aliyu and Murtala Nyako of Niger and Adamawa States respectively are about to increase their fleets of first ladies with some under 20's (do not say I told you because they are classified state secrets). You know I would not fancy being given the Gbenga Aruleba's kind of VIP treatment.

How is your brother-in-law, Comptroller General of Customs, Abdullahi Inde Dikko and his forged certificates making waves around the nation? I wonder what our people want to bring out of this. Can't they just understand that an acquaintance with the president (sorry, first gentleman or President's husband) covers a multitude of forgery. Some people cannot just read between the lines that this country belongs to just a few of us. They should know that it's your country and you can do whatever you want with it. If you like you can make the most perverting lawyer in the land your Attorney General of the Federation (AGF) or the Authorised Government Fraudster. Aondoakaa's handling of your godfather, Ibori's cases is an embarrassment to the nation but highly commendable by you and the gang of government robbers who make your inner caucus. Once you sanction his actions, who else should care?

Lately, I have been having a running battle with some 140 millions of this 'poor'Nation who claim to be disturbed by your 'slow and unsteady' approach to the affairs of the nation. I keep telling them that everyone has his/her pace of operation. Even with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day, then what is wrong if you don't move at the pace they'd expected. They should have remembered that Bukola Saraki said you needed 2 years to diagnose the problem of the nation and I am also adding that you need another 2 years to gather your team, 2 years to plan your strategy, 2 years to assign responsibility and 4 years to execute your 7 pointless agenda. At this rate, Vision 20, 2020 will certainly become a reality by 2200 A.D provided the other nations wait for us. Unlike your uncle Sege, you may not need to ask for a third term, you may simply request for the unused term of MKO.

I hear a lot of hullaballoo regarding your ineptitude, inefficiency and irrelevance but trust me! I do always join aunty Dora to blindly defend and rebrand you before the 'poor compatriots.' When does an unelected Commander-In-(CT)hief start to account to the electorate. Only OBJ, Iwu and a few others who were instrumental in bringing you to this exalted but exhausted position have the right to ask how you are performing. Now that El Rufai and Nuru Ribadu are asking, I think they have the audacity and the right to do so and you must answer them by yourself since both are apparently among the few who smuggled you into the Aso Rock as I may not know what to tell them.

What about the 6000 MW at the end of the year? We all know it will take your government another 3 years to get to that somewhat very low target. The problem is what we would have to tell the people. I think I have a bright idea. You can tell them that you utilize the money meant for the project to settle and resettle the Militants. Then ask the people which one they prefer, whether to have electricity and have the militants around kidnapping the CBN looters or their fathers or have peace without electricity.

Thanks for subverting Uwais' Report. The people seem not to understand our 'do or die' politics. If they do, how could they expect such ingenious report to see the light of the day. They have forgotten that PDP has a pact to rule for another 60 years. With this, may be they can understand your plight that the only problem you have with a 'free and fair' election is that you can never be sure of who wins. Umaru, I really sympathize with you. I am one of the very few who understand you and your position. I know how much your health is failing you and I understand the pains of dialysis. I know how much you struggle with Turai for authority and how much you are undermined by those you put in top positions because they know you barely manage to stand on your feet. I know how much you suffer seeing the nation going down without any wit of what to do to intervene. I know how much unwilling you were to take this office that is much bigger than your imagination having failed to perform too well at even a state level. I know how much Oluṣẹgun Mathew Okikiọla Arẹmu Ọbasanjọ used you just to kill the wild dreams of both infamous Abubakar Atiku and Badamosi Babangida in spite of your initial objection. I know all.

Now that you have been used and coerced into power, now that you sure have bitten off much more than you can chew, there is only one honourable option left. Obasanjo may be blamed for forcing you into power in your dying state but no one but you will receive the culpability for holding on to it. The only acceptable option is to throw in the towel and Nigeria and Nigerians will celebrate with you. One man should not hold back the destiny of the giant of Africa . You exit is the rebranding Nigeria needs at the moment. Our star wants to shine again.

You have failed a nation that was filled with high hope and euphoria when you publicly declared your assets. Of what use is it, when you have taken a step forward and 100 steps backward? You have almost totally drained all the country's foreign reserve. Your own war against corruption is to fight the anti corruption crusaders thereby allowing free for all looting. You court the most corrupt and you are not even ashamed to call them your friends. You boycott UN general Assembly for an unspeakable event in Saudi. Not even under the despondent Abacha were our Universities closed for up to 111 days.Umaru, a word is enough for the wise. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others, only a fool wait to learn from his own mistakes. Go now before we start making the kind of intercessory prayers we made for Abacha. God still hear the prayers of his people. Nigeria is tired of retrogression.

Sincerely,

Rufus Kayode Oteniya