Just a break-up; so what?

They'd been dating for four months and everything seemed alright until he dropped the bombshell. He needed a breakup! Ama didn't know what to do. “Kobby just stopped calling me. I felt helpless. I kept asking myself what I did wrong”.

A breakup can crush you. It can also replace your joy with sadness. In fact, it can numb you with shock. Usually the person who does the breaking up does not suffer as great a strain on emotions and energy because he planned it all from the beginning and so is better able to deal with it.

A breakup is one of the most traumatic experiences any person might ever go through in his or her life time. Initially it is so painful you feel you just can't go on. You cry, you shout, you lock yourself up in your room all day. These may be helpful in the initial stages of the breakup but it shouldn't go on for too long. You may wish it were all but a nightmare and would not be there any longer when you wake up.

As a matter of fact, such a painful experience can happen to people as good as you. You may say “it can't be over; he'll come back to me in a day or two”. Face it or not, he may never come back! This is a terrible state of denial. This state of denial, if not curbed, can give room to anger. When you realize he isn't coming back no more, anger sets in. You say to yourself “how could he do this to me”. You hate him so much so that you can't stand his very presence. Mind you when you feel like you hate him so much, don't go near him, because you may do something only to regret it later.

When the anger dissipates, depression may set in. Here you feel unlovable. You feel that no one will ever love you again. I am telling you with all passion and sincerity that this is a lie from the pit of hell! The truth is you might have been too good he couldn't handle you. You were too hot he simply had to drop you. My piece of advice to you is instead of wasting yourself away on this bag of scum, accept the breakup. It is over and there is absolutely nothing you can do sweetheart. You are going to be alright!

A breakup hurts, but with time the hurt goes away. The rule here is to allow yourself to grieve. There can't be anything wrong with a good cry. Cry it all out. With the tears comes the venom. With time you will wonder why you cried in the first place. Trust me on this, “time heals all wounds”. True, emotional wounds heal slowest but they heal all the same. However, just like a natural wound, if you do not treat it well it will fester.

After the wound heals don't rush into another relationship, you may have to take stock of what happened in your past relationship. It may take a while before you go into another relationship. But if a knight in shinning armour comes along soon enough, don't let the shadows from the past stop you from loving him with all your heart. Every guy can not be a monster.

Don't hide your feelings in your booze. Deal with how you feel. Face it he's gone so decide what on what to do. The rule is to take care of your health. So what, are you going to starve yourself because one guy was stupid enough to let you go? Sister, eat, drink lots of water. Water may help flush out sorrow from your system.

Admittedly, the one and only time, I had a breakup, I didn't feel like doing anything at all. I just felt like lying down and counting my pain but luckily for me, my friends wouldn't allow me to. They virtually dragged me to the beach. We played in the sand for a long while, and what a good deal it did me. You may want to try it.

All these may fail but don't lose hope. Try God. He made you and your heart. He can mend it better than person or any activity you may want to do. The interesting thing is, if only you give him a chance he will come in and do a good job with your heart.

Credit: Appiah Yeboah Janat culled from Students' Voice