My Telephone Conversation With Obama!

After the illustrious son of Africa, Barack Obama has left Ghana on the July 12, 2009; I decided to call him because the sermon he delivered to Ghanaians and Africans was too far beyond my comprehension. As a matter of fact, he gave me enough time and this was what ensued between us.

Confidence: Mr. Obama, at the beginning of the main body of your speech, you stated that “We must start from the simple premise that Africa's future is up to Africans.” Are you insinuating that we should not invest our hopes in you?

Obama: Exactly, Africa has received aids donkey years before I was born. So, if thousand years of aid to Africa did not make any impact on Africa then my 4 or 8 years of aids to Africa cannot perform any miracle either.

Confidence: I have lost hope in you Mr. Obama. Do you know all principals' streets across Africa shout your name, Obama! Obama!! Obama!!!

Obama: That is even the most annoying. These noises are sickening and deafening me! Please, Africans should know that it was Americans who voted me. So, it is better they stop these nonsensical noises and go back to work. Heaven will never break lose for goodies. Besides that “America First” is our watchword.

Confidence: Ah, Mr. Obama you said “Africans should…” Are you not an African? Obama: So what? Did you know that my father deserted me at the mercy of my mother? Let us not go there!

Confidence: As first Black American president, what should Africa expects from you any time soon.

Obama: I am sorry; Africa is not in my agenda any time soon. I am busily working around the clock to repair George Bush's mangled economy. In addition, there is a severe global economic recession and until America is completely out of this crisis, no left over! I have so far injected billions of dollars into the economy to sustain industries to avoid job loses.

Confidence: Hmm! That is great! Here in Ghana, we hardly hear about this economic recession. What we hear everyday is ex gratia or MPs car loans.

Obama: I said it, “Africa is for Africans” But I believe my sermon will cause a dramatic character reformation across Africa leaders who are possessed with greed-demons.

Confidence: Please, Mr. Obama, what is your position of leftovers (aids, loans, grants etc) for Africa?

Obama: African leaders merely think beyond their noses. If a child is not weaned, she can never grow. The leftovers besides been badly mismanaged and pocketed, the conditions are killing the African economies. For instance, a grant or loan may come with the following conditions: freeze public sector employment, no subsidies for public utility services, no subsidies for agricultural inputs etc. The impact of these conditions consequently lowers the living standards of the commoners. In this 21st century, African leaders cannot think that there is no free meal anywhere. If you happen to get a free meal, then it was paid for by your great grandfathers or you are yet to pay for it.

Confidence: Mr. Obama, do you second the argument that if all Africans are sent to America and all Americans sent to Africa, within a year period, Americans will go to Africa for aid?

Obama: Exactly, because most African leaders are visionless and family-centred and nearly all Africans have poor attitude to issues that can help Africa grow.

Confidence: “But the West is not responsible for the destruction of the Zimbabwean economy…”, these were your words. How can you justify that?

Obama: Actually, I meant the exact opposite. The West do not like too known and stubborn people like Mugabe. If Mugabe had not driven away the White farmers and reclaim the lands to the poor farmers in his Zimbabwe, the West would not have tempered with his country. Did you know that his people were working as slaves in these farmlands own by the Whites and all the harvest were shipped to the West? Confidence: Tell me more Mr. Obama.

Obama: Mugabe's decision to drive away these farmers was a minus to the West economies. So, they had to find an ingenious way by putting sanctions on the country.

Confidence: But the Americas also put sanctions on Zimbabwe. Why? Obama: Because we are friends. Are you not aware that Tony Blair help George Bush battalions of soldiers to destroy Iraq. It is just a matter of “I scratch, you scratch”

Confidence: What about the UN sanctions?

Obama: Who is UN? America is UN and UN is America. Have you forgotten that the UN said No War in Iraq, but America bullshitted it and move ahead. So far as America is concern, the UN is a paper tiger.  Continued    Source: Abdulai Hanan R. Confidence

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