Letter From The President: Women Arise!

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents, I have some good news for you – the women are taking over the world and we should all be very happy about that. Last year, the Germans voted in a woman chancellor, the first in that country's history. Not long after the German elections, Liberians voted in Ellen Johnson Sirleaf – Africa's first woman president. Just about a week ago, the people of Chile also voted for a female president. Much earlier, people in countries such as the Philippines and Finland had voted for female leaders.

It's a new wave – a new wind which is blowing across the world and has made people recognize that their destinies are better shaped by the hands of women and that the female species make the best leaders. I know that this is no good news for the chauvinists but for me it is very welcome, pleasant news. My problem, however is that the wind is not blowing fast enough and it seems that it will take a long time for this wind to blow over Sikaman (and the rest of Africa).

That's why I am writing this letter to tell the people of Sikaman that we need to embrace that wind when it comes and make no attempt to resist it. The men of Sikaman have done their best (which has mostly not been good enough) for our country. Essentially, their best has messed us all up and thrown us into what appears to be eternal poverty, ignorance, sheer stupidity and disease. From my own experiences, I think men make such lousy presidents, especially in Sikaman, for several reasons. Men like to 'con' people with empty promises. When a man is going to woo a woman ('con' her, as we say in Sikaman) he uses a selection of sugarcoated words to make all sorts of claims and promises. “I will build you a mansion on Mountain Afadzato”, one man might say. “I will give you the grandest wedding this city has ever seen”, another will promise. Women fall for these only for them to realize later, to their utter dismay, that the men who made the promises are wretched infidels who have no plans to settle down and start fulfilling their promises. The men who have taken over the reigns of power in Sikaman over the past half century have often failed to fulfill their promises to the nation just as they fail to fulfill promises made to their spouses and concubines. They are full of words but no action. For example, I promised years ago that when I come to power, I will reduce the number of ministers and use every trick in the book to cut costs so that our scarce financial resources will not be wasted. But what have I done? I have increased the number of ministers and the wastage persists (and has even increased, in most cases).

I suppose you have also realized that for some reasons men tend to be more corrupt than women. There are women occupying some very sensitive positions in this country, you know. Hardly do we hear allegations that they have embezzled funds or transferred monies illegally into their concubines' accounts. But day in, day out we hear numerous cases of men stealing state funds and misapplying resources without even pausing for a moment to think about the effects of their actions.

Sometimes, men misapply funds because they think too much about the 'langalanga' in between their legs. Sometimes, they allow the 'langalanga' to think for them. Take the men who invested money in cotton and expected to receive rice for instance. I think they did so because they allowed the 'langalanga' to take over their brain functions.

I thank God that that the people of the world are realizing that men are full of crap ( and empty promises), are corrupt and can be very stupid (when – as always – they allow the 'langalanga' to think for them).

Women are different in a very refreshing way. Women are generally not selfish and corrupt. Women are caring and they actively seek the welfare of the people around them. Women hardly abandon those they are charged to protect and serve. Never mind the fact that occasionally we hear about women who dump their little babies in KVIPs and in garbage trucks. But compare that to the millions of men who refuse to provide for their kids as they go on a “dross”-removing spree. It is with that same level of irresponsibility that men often rule nations. Women are generally not con artists. They hardly make promises they know they can't fulfill. Above all, women don't allow that which is between their legs to think for them.

Women have excellent leadership qualities that Sikaman (and the continent of Africa) are in the dire need of. Liberians have shown the way by electing a female to be their president. Let's brace ourselves for the female revolution, which I believe can spark a genuine African renaissance. Whether you like it or not, it will happen. What I worry about is the pace at which the female revolution will occur. I want to see it happen in my lifetime. I don't want to die and wait hundreds of years before the spirit of my great grandson comes to tell me about it in the land of the dead. It should happen now. I want the so-called feminists in Sikaman and Africa to rise up and put their numerous words into action. I have realized that the women's activists tend to be all talk and no action. They claim that they want to see more and more women in politics. But they themselves are not ready to go into politics. Why? If our best and brightest women (who mostly happen to be those clamouring for female participation at all levels of governance) are not ready to get in the fray, we should not expect the 'bofrot' seller at Sabong Zongo to attempt to run for election into her unit committee or district assembly. I know politics is hard and it's even harder for women. But I believe that the current wind blowing across the world, which has seen some women elected as national leaders, shows that people have recognised the potential of women. It's an opportunity the women of Sikaman (and Africa) should not miss. If they let it pass them by, it will not only be a loss for womanhood because we shall be doomed forever if deceitful, corruptible and selfish men who think with their 'langalangas'(excluding my excellent self) continue to rule us.

Excellently yours,

J. A. Fukuor [email protected]