Citi FM’s Farida reviews Latif Abubakar’s Mallams and Pastors

“I don't know how some people do it” said a friend who once told me she attended one of these 'highly spiritual' churches in combo with Sunday services at her orthodox church- she got mystified. Bottom line is- you cannot serve two masters at once.

We all know it's an election year and you don't need a soothsayer to tell you that politicians will cross oceans and climb mountains just to achieve their political targets.

Either way, a lot will happen and that was the theme for the recently premiered MALLAMS AND PASTORS by playwright, Latif Abubakar.

Set in a contemporary scene, Mr Wayo, a rich, assertive politician is prepared to do whatever it takes to win the upcoming elections. The character played by Ekow Smith Asante is married to a nagging wife who just doesn't understand the ideals of her husband. His beautiful young secretary, Sandra, doubles as his mistress- or so she wants Mrs Wayo to believe.

Sandra is aggressive and has thrown respect to the dogs. She could approach Mrs Wayo in her home and fantasize to her about how her husband (Mr Wayo) is able to press her buttons in bed and make her go gaga.

But Mrs Wayo would have none of that because her husband hardly makes time for bedmatics. This erupts into a heated exchange of words between the wife and the side chick. But that was the least of Mr Wayo's problems.

He was rather working towards the next 'moral boosting' opportunity where he could invest his cash- provided he will be given the assurance of a win in the impending election. He had money and he feared no one but Anas, the investigative journalist.

His strategy was not to influence voters but rather men of God. As a patriotic Ghanaian citizen, how could he have neglected the fact that God is Ghanaian and the men of God these days have more influence in spinning the minds of their members?

As the campaign approaches, Wayo gets too busy that he decides to hire the services of a houseboy.

When he eventually invites Atongo (once played Sarkodie in Legon Comedy) over his mansion for a job interview, he receives the shock of his life.

Wayo (after about two minutes of interview): Okay you're fine to start work now.

Atongo: Ah massa, you mean now? I thought you were going to ask me to start next week or two.

Typical attitude of some Ghanaians! We always need that grace period to go shopping and inform the entire family that we got the job- then we can start.

Meanwhile Atongo has no option. It is either to take it or leave it. But little does Mr Wayo know that Atongo is going to be his worst nightmare.

Election Day grows nearer and Mr Wayo is more desperate than ever. He decides to implement his tactics with the help of Atongo his houseboy.

His first point of call is in the abode of a renowned Mallam with many customers. People queue to demand various forms of requests and he gladly grants them at high cost.

There are businessmen who want to win that juicy contract as well as saucy girls like Sandra who want potions to charm men like her boss. Even those whose manhood needed resurrection were among the customers. And comedian Funny Face was also one of the customers who dragged a got to see Baba. No matter your problem, Baba has a fake remedy for you. Just be loaded, desperate and stupid.

When one of the desperate customers goes in to see Baba, he is sold a potion for thirty thousand Ghana cedis (GHc30, 000) and the caveat was “let no eye see this”. This is after he is asked to sleep in a coffin which he painfully and reluctantly did on stage.

Unfortunately on his way home, in the darkness of the night, he is stopped by a curious police woman who demands he opens the box containing the potion. He begins to shudder as he ponders what that would mean for his money. Eventually, he grudgingly obeys amidst tears. His GHC30, 000 gone! This means the potion is rendered useless. And it won't be surprising to know that the police woman was Baba's accomplice.

In Mr Wayo's case, he contracts the services of a 'beer bar' pastor- the one who finds solace in bragging at a drinking spot with a few friends including Baba, the Mallam. They play and dance to secular music while they booze to their intelligent schemes.

The character is played by a very articulate and assertive osorfo who never minces words whenever he brings his bragging game on. In the midst of his friends and the bar attendant, he brags about all the fake tactics he uses to lure his church members and charging exorbitant fees for his services. As usual, it is a marriage request, a manhood resurrection or an infertility case. He just needs to give you one of the oils and you're sorted.

When he finally gets Mr Wayo as his client, he is overwhelmed. The day he walks into the house, he fills the place with his anointing. Knowing the needs of his client, he plays a fast trick on him by first sharing a joke which sends Mr Wayo bonkers. While savoring the moment of some relief, Atongo drops the bomb. “Oh massa paaa, so you allow this pastor to fool you with this pasco.” Each sentence from Atongo was hilarious and he kept the auditorium full of amusement.

However, that does not stop the convinced politician from soaking deep into the pastor's misleading sermons. He advertises his anointing oil to him at a cost of GHC150 for a small bottle and tells him “you will need a full bucket of this oil to bath every day.”

“Pastor, money is no problem. Take this GHC100, 000 cheque. I'm sure that can cover me for a few months.”  Osorfo almost faints. He can't believe how quickly he has hit the jackpot. This means there is more to come.

As Mr Wayo escorts pastor to the door, he tries to kneel to take an anointed prayer but pastor promptly refuses. “No! Massa please let me rather kneel and pray for you” and he prays. That is money power.

Mr Wayo was enjoying the fact that he could use money and influence to win the elections but when his deeds finally decided to backfire on him, he becomes helpless.

One fine evening, he gets invaded by the pastor, the Mallam and a fetish priestess. He had consulted them all- hoping to join forces so he could get fortified spiritually. In the battle of powers at his residence, he falls into a short coma which had all three powers claiming responsibility. The fetish priestess said it was her way of testing her powers while the Mallam claimed he alone can make that happen. There is a threat on Mr Wayo's life as he struggles to recover from the shock. A few sprinkles of water from Atongo finally revive him and brings him back to reality to face his woes.

But in all the drama happening in Mr Wayo's house, there was a supreme being who was unknowingly observing all the events. He is the one who shook the country some months ago with a revealing video of the Judicial Corruption which has some indicted judges still challenging the investigative piece.

He is no other than Atongo, the Anas of the play. He was nowhere but very close to all the characters.

As the show gradually draws to an end, Anas gets behind his mask and summoned all the bad guys by pointing out all their corrupt activities. Even the police woman called in to arrest the culprits was reminded of her love for taking bribes. No one was vindicated.

As the curtain closes, the characters kneel before Anas to beg for forgiveness. Even the pastor who wanted to shield himself with the word of God and the bible was adjudged the worst culprit. Anas would have none of their plea.

Once again, he reveals his identity and shares a word of caution to the audience. Corruption is rife in this country and you should be careful who and what you engage in.

In this election year especially, temptations will come in various formats and people will be enticed to do the worst. Be careful, you never know who may be watching.

By: Farida Shaibu/citifmonline.com/ghana