How Much Sex Can I Have In A Week?

Dear Mirror Doctor,
I am a man of 35 years, tall and nice and married with children. My problem is that I love sex. I can have sex with my wife four times a week. Sometimes, the sex can last up to one hour. I don’t drink alcoholic beverages. Please doctor, is four times good for my health?

Ademola, Accra.
Dear Ademola,
Sex is a difficult subject to discuss in our society and even the world over. Discussing sex is considered a taboo and most parents cannot discuss sexuality with their children. Significantly, our sexual drive or urge for sex is largely determined by our attitudes and sexual beliefs acquired during our upbringing and knowledge gained from peers.

As such not much is known about the prevalent sexual habits in our society.

Statistics on how frequent sex one needs to have or how much sex is okay is practically difficult to come by. Sex statistics actually leaves much to be desired.

The reliability and validity of sexual surveys can almost always be called into question. Many of the statistics are not properly constructed or the surveys are not properly done.

It is known that some of the studies have been commissioned by marketing companies who want to use the statistics for their sales.

There is a bias in most sexual survey research in the way questions are asked, what questions are not asked, who is asking the questions, and lastly who gets to answer the questions.

These biases don’t mean that the statistics aren’t relevant, but there is a challenge how the results are extrapolated to the entire population.

It is also well known that sexuality is incredibly individual, and while it may be comforting to know that 36 per cent of people have sex in the same position or on the same day of the week, we make decisions about our sexuality not sorely on these statistics but on what we feel or experience.

We all have different physiological response to sex. Sex is a basic instinct that should be enjoyed by both males and females especially among married couples. Sex extends beyond the mere physical act of copulation to involve emotional response of both partners.

Both partners need to have a knowledge of and involvement in, sex for the further development of their relationship.

Both men and women are conditioned by our upbringing and prevailing cultural attitudes. Men are naturally aggressive, have a high arousal rate and sexual drive and reach orgasm so easily. Biologically, a woman’s sex drive is no different from a man.

However, the intensity varies during different times in their lives. A person’s sexual drive is influenced by their work, fatigue, chronic pain, anxiety about a job, excessive alcohol and defective relationship, and especially the upbringing of children can reduce the sexual drive of women.

Unless one has a medical condition of sexual addiction, there is no such thing as excessive sex.

Provided the man can maintain an erection of his penis, and provided that he can do this as often as he and his partner desire to have sexual intercourse, sexual intercourse can take place as often as they wish.

Frequent sexual intercourse does not lead to any weakness of either partner. Frequent sex may cause irritation to one or other partner’s genitals from over stimulation or friction. In such a case, a couple of days rest will restore the damaged genital organs to normal.

How often a couple have sexual intercourse is a matter for their joint decision. Infrequent sex is equally harmless provided that no partner is frustrated by it.

A new study conducted in Penn State found that the best sexual encounters last between seven and thirteen minutes, not including foreplay.

Mr Ademola, if the sexual intercourse with your partner lasts up to one hour, then there could be a problem. Prolonged penile vaginal thrusting is an ineffective method of stimulating most women and can lead to loss of arousal and frustration at lack of enjoyment as well as cause abrasions of the vagina leading to vaginal pain.

A number of benefits can be derived from regular sex, albeit healthy sexual relationship with one’s partner. Sex is good for adults.

Indulging on a regular basis at least once a week is even better. Research links sex with all safer-sex precautions taken, to an astonishing array of physiological benefits.

Many studies don't address whether the health bonus comes from the act itself or from the corresponding emotional intimacy, but the bottom line is that getting physical contact has some great effects especially for women. Sex helps reduce stress.

This improves our mood and helps us relax. Sex helps fight depression.

Sex boosts our health by raising the body's level of the immune-boosting antibody immunoglobin A. Sex raises a woman's oestrogen level, which helps make her hair shiny and skin supple.

This is a form of beauty treatment. Sex helps to burn calories. Rough estimates indicate that sexual intercourse burns a little over four calories a minute.

For a woman with migraine, it is propounded that making love rather than avoiding intercourse may be helpful; the increase in endorphins and corticosteroids during arousal and orgasm could be analgesic.

Regular sex promotes regular menstrual cycles. Women who have intercourse at least weekly tend to have more regular cycle than abstainers or the sporadically active women. Women use the muscles of the pelvic floor to stem the flow of urine.

As they age, they need to keep these muscles strong to avoid peeing accidentally. The same muscles are exercised during intercourse, and as with all muscle-building programmes, the benefits to be derived require consistency.

Perhaps best of all, regular sexual intimacy strengthens the relationship and that leads to more sex.

In spite of all these benefits of sex, not having sex especially in adolescence doesn’t harm us. It’s often said that the greatest sex organ is the mind.

How we think and feel about sex and ourselves, and what we focus our mind on is very important. Ademola, if your partner approves of sex four times a week with no adverse effect, then keep at it.

Make sure your partner enjoys it as well. Be mindful of the fact that too much of everything is bad. Anyone with a heart condition should

be careful with sex.