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15.04.2015 Home & Food

Running A Productive Home

By ItsMyFootprint
Running A Productive Home
15.04.2015 LISTEN

'Somewhere along the line we stopped believing we could do anything. And if we don't have our dreams, we have nothing.' Billy Bob Thornton as Charlie in the movie The Astronaut Farmer

It is said that 'A family that prays together, stay together.' But I have come to believe that 'A family that dreams together is inseparable.' A family is a unit made up of individuals. In most cases there is a husband (the leader) and wife (the 'second-in-command') with children. It is a team were one is born into. Upsetting the functionality of a family leads to serious losses to its members.

A family does not exist, apart for a reason. It is important to find your purpose as a family. This may involve individual soul searching, identifying what you want as a family (vision), what you stand for (values) and what you are good at or have (resources). These things bring fulfilment into families.

Some of the most important issues in a family are integration, consultation and good leadership. The husband is by nature the leader and his role is to support and advance the cause of his team. He protects the members and stirs the course on behalf of the family. Being authoritative normally leads to down fall and subsequent loss of his most needed pride. On the other hand being docile and passive, creates even more problems. They say 'organisations (and families) fall on leadership.'

Vision
A family without a vision is of cause going nowhere. At the end members will start to seek purpose somewhere. Develop a vision. You may have to write it. A family vision is simply a dream or what you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 or 30 years. The vision can be broken down into sub-visions and goals covering specific area. If you want support, allow participation from each family member. Give feedback on progress. Track progress. Make everyone buy in to the vision.

One of the most inspiring movies I ever watched is 'The Astronaut Farmer.' I like in particular Charlie's father-in-law's words when he said, "I couldn't get my family to eat together. You have your family dreaming together.' It was indeed a crazy dream! But the idea of Charlie, a farmer, making a rocket and managing to take it to space, despite opposition from banks, the community and even the government, is really amazing. This showsthe power of a family with a single dream! Nothing can stop a family united in a dream!

Marriage
Marriage or the relationship between the parents dictates the stability of a family unit, and is to be valued as top priority. On long term basis, trust and honesty become more important than physical features of the couple. Once trust is broken, it's not easy to be restored. But it can! Be a person of integrity by keeping the words in the vows that you promised your spouse. Help each other to realise personal dreams. A successful family helps each member to realise his or her dream. Selfishness brings frustration to family members.

Values
Values go from top to bottom. The parents' values become the children's value. A study in schools in Pretoria East's the low density suburbs really shocked many. 82% of the children admitted that they have at least once seen their parent bribing someone. Above 50% said it happened more than once. These are the so called affluent suburbs where managers and leaders stay. These statistics say not just a lot but the truth,but about the current leadership. And this is the seed that has been sown to the children.

Changing and keeping values is not an easy task and is not a one day job. Never the less 'integrity starts at home'. The reason why our nations are in a mess is because there is no integrity at home. We are nice angles on Sundays and devils at home. We criticise leaders or relatives right in front of our children and expect the children to respect the same leaders and relatives we criticise. If you bad mouth your pastor or church in front of your children, how do you expect them to obey them? And it's even worse when parents fight in front of children.

I will not say anything further on this!!
Children
Children follow parents. They do not do what you say, but what you do. So forget about giving them a lot of lectures, 'just do it!' Remember every child is looking for a hero. If they do not find one in the home, they will look somewhere else. Be the model. Spend time with them. Kids do not really want toys, 'they want you.' Do not ignore them, otherwise they will find someone who does not ignore them, somewhere else. And it'sgonna look bad if the bad guy next door gives your kids the attention they need. Kids obey people who give them attention. At the same time, kids need to be disciplined. It's surprisingly true that, actually they like it.

Create good memories for your children. I mean you would not want the kids to remember their father as the guy who watch TV all the time or never at home. If you do not teach your children, the TV will do it for you. Is this want you want?

Family Systems
Run the family finances using wise principles. Put up economic and social systems to handle your family as well as extend family. Introduce systems to run your finances and home economics. Have system to deal with friends and relative, systems to deal with health etc. If there is anything you are going to do a number of times, put systems in place. Agree on these systems and adjust them as you go.

Systems take you out of the constantly endless decision making processes. They save time because everyone knows how things are done. They ensure consistency and hence enforcesfairness. Even if you are not around your spouse or kids will know what to do. Families with common vision and fixed systems have less arguments or conflicts or blaming. Normally the systems are made in a sober environment long before the critical situation come.

The systems should reflect your values, goals, environment and must be fair. Adjust the systems with time. Accept your limitation. With time the systems will define your culture and identity. As a family, if everyone does as he or she want, or by force, success is surely not coming your way!

Family Finances
Like a business, each family needs to manage finances well. Each family has an 'Income statement' or a budget. A budget is not just a planning tool but a system to control finances. The income statements show ALL your earnings and expenses or saving for a given period, in most cases per month. It is not wise to spend more than you earn, because you will have to borrowing. Aim to save and invest at least 10% of your income. Put it in secure funds or investments. Ask for advice from trusted experts or even study a bit on personal finance. A R100 text book on personal finance can save you a lot of money and change the course of your family finances. A budget normally has the following items;

  1. Non-negotiable or fixed expenses: rent, taxes, insurance, food, transport, car and house payments, church or religious giving etc.
  2. Retirement: Money set aside into pension fund etc.
  3. Long-term savings: Money set aside for car purchases, major home fix-ups, or to pay down substantial debt loads.
  4. Irregular expenses: major repair bills, new appliances, etc.
  5. Fun money: Money set aside for entertainment or holiday purposes.

A family 'balance sheet' is increasingly becoming an important document. It is a statement of everything you own and your credits. It lists current assets such as cash in bank or investment accounts, long-term assets such as shares and real estate, current liabilities (what you owe) such as loan debt and mortgage debt due, or overdue, long-term liabilities such as mortgage and other loan debt. Securities and real estate values are listed at market value rather than at historical cost or cost basis. A Family'sNet Worth is the difference between the family's total assets and total liabilities. This is normally used to measure how wealthy the family is.

Being wealth is not necessarily having big figures on your budget, but what is accumulated over time, by ensuring that expenses are less than income, as well as saving/investing the difference. Many families have huge budgets but little net worth because of over expenditure.

Have an awesome day.
' Copyright 2012 by It's My Footprint,
http://www.itsmyfootprint.com.

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