Emotional Intelligence, Relationships and Strengths in Leadership.

This article is part of a series that explains the true meaning of leadership.

The first part touched on the first four letters- L-E-A-D, of Leadership. Today's part will look at the ERS; Emotional Intelligence,Relationships and Strengths of a leader.

1. The Leader and her Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) echoes Plato's assertion that, “man know thyself”. Daniel Goleman, the chief promoter of EI uses a framework of five elements to define EI:

- Self awareness – the ability to know who you really are, your strengths and weaknesses.

- Self regulation – the ability to control one's emotions and impulses so as to make objective and decisive decisions.

- Motivation – the ability to encourage one's self for the achievement of her goals irrespective of the immediate challenges.

- Empathy – the ability to understand people from their point of view and put yourself in their shoes.This makes a leader a great listener and manager of relationships.

- Social skills – the ability to interact with different kinds of people. This leads to good communication and being a team-player.

It is one of the paramount traits every great leader should develop to be highly effective and efficient in the twenty-first century and beyond. Organisations have moved from assessing their future leaders only based on intelligence quotient (IQ), social intelligence and the other forms of intelligence assessment to EI. Emotional Intelligence separates the compassionate leader from the heartless one.

Since leadership is about influencing people to improve their common lot, one must lead with both the heart and mind. The right blend of this kind of leadership is what thrives in the twenty-first century and beyond. Thought leadership is good, but thought-felt leadership is superior. Such a leader will live long after he is off the scene. Aim at thought-felt leadership and work seriously on your EI, it will set you apart.

2. The Leader and her Relationships
John C. Maxwell opines that “an individual is the average of her five closest friends”. It was Charlie “Tremendous” Jones who said that, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” ― Your network of relationship counts. They can make or unmake you.

This generation has seen morally upright leaders corrupted by their bad relationships. Some had to cut short their stay in leadership because of the misbehaviour of their associates. It's always better to choose your relationships rather than let them choose you. Be critical, tough and stingy with those whom you allow into your inner circle of friends.

It is your network that will take you places. People who know you are the ones who will bring you before the King. Management consultant, Jordi Alemany, has a '60-30-10 rule. The secret to career success' , which recommends that people spend 60% of their working life networking! Only 30% for personal branding and a tiny 10% working. He confirms the assertion that, “80% of all positions recruited are filled via referrals”. That revelation is an eye-opener in this 'age of association'.

Networking is key to reaching your dreams. God has always used humans to bless humans. Be a relationship person and work on your people skills. We never attain perfection with those skills; we are always work in progress (WIP). If you can master the art of knowing people, you have won half the battles common to men and women.

Knowing people should be every leader's topmost priority lest you are brought down. Know the subtleties of humans. Learn the art of reading body language and the actions of humans. Test all humans by their actions rather than their words. Talk is cheap!

3 The Leader and her Strengths
No one is perfect! The closest anyone can come to attaining perfection is when they operate in their 'strength zone'. That is the point where you excel with ease and passion and you don't lose steam easily. At that point, we are energised and willing to distill more sweat from your blood. Where you bubble, find that zone and never leave it. Stay there. Reach your fullest potential and see how the world will open up to you and your desires.

Knowledge of strengths helps the leader to know they can't do it all alone; that they need others in the pursuit of their dreams and visions; that “one is too small a number to make any meaningful impact” (Dr. John C. Maxwell). It is with this knowledge that the leader can develop her team's strength. This helps in delegation and makes team members enjoy what they do because they work in their strength zone.

In the final part of this series, I will conclude on the leader's Humility, Integrity and Purpose (HIP). Without the HIP, the leader can't function. There won't be any connection between the desires, passion, education and the wherewithal to walk the vision and leave a legacy.

The last part of this article will cover the last three meanings (H- I - P). See more on Newaccra.com