Can you afford that wedding?

Author of   'Practical Steps to Financial Freedom and Independence', USIERE UKO, writes on ways to cut cost when planning a wedding

We all love fairy tale weddings. For many, especially ladies, it is the most memorable day of their lives. Most have dreamt of that day all their lives, so preparing for that day comes with very strong emotions. Smart entrepreneurs have capitalised on this sentiment to keep raising the bar such that planning a wedding is no longer a mean undertaking financially. Costs have shot through the roof as we keep raising the bar for a one-day event that has no bearing on the long term success of the union. Interestingly, as costs go up, success rate of marriages seem to come down. That speaks volumes.

There are many stakeholders in a wedding. Often the mother of the bride wants to call the shots, especially if the bride's parents are footing the bill. In that case, money is not much of an issue although fireworks still fly as the bride and the mother lock horns in a clash of wills. The mother may want to show off to her friends while the daughter desires a quiet event. A more interesting scenario arises when people who do not contribute money to the wedding attempt to dictate what should and what should not be done. When it comes to going overboard in wedding expenditure, the usual culprits are the bride and her mother, especially if the bride is not working.

When it comes to putting together a wedding or any event, we have control. The event is not a runaway train. We decide what happens. There is no point staging an event and living with the financial consequences months and years later. It is not a do-or-die affair.

What does it really mean to afford a thing?
Affording something means different things to different people. According to Webster's online dictionary;

Afford : to be able to pay for (something)
: to be able to do (something) without having problems or being seriously harmed

To grasp the full meaning in the context of financial intelligence, we need to marry the two:

Afford: to be able to pay for (something) without having problems or being seriously harmed.

This suggests that 'afford' does not simply mean to be able to pay for something, but to be able to pay for something without having problems or being seriously harmed (financially).

Paying for something is not where the matter ends, but paying for something without damaging your finances is being able to afford it. If you have to 'drink garri' after paying for it, you cannot afford it. A key sign that you cannot afford something is when you are broke afterwards. So if you are under financial pressure, it means you paid for something you cannot afford. We seem to be experts in doing this.

There is no universal metric for measuring affordability. I like the one adopted by someone I respect a lot. According to him, he can afford something if he has twice the amount left in his savings after paying for the item. To illustrate, if the car he wants to buy costs N3m, he can afford it if he has N9m in his savings. That means after dishing out N3m for the car, there is still N6m remaining where that came from. To the financially literate, the thought of using your income or turnover to buy a liability is a clear sign that you cannot afford it. You are encroaching into your capital rather than sticking to your profit.

It is your wedding after all
Cutting your coat according to your cloth is very crucial when building a foundation for a home. To help determine how much you can afford to spend on your wedding, answering these questions will be helpful. Have you set aside money for the honeymoon? Do you have an apartment? Has the apartment been furnished to the level you want to start life with? Have you set aside savings to start your married life? If one of you is schooling, is there money set aside for the next school fees? If the wife to be for example wants to go into business, has money been set aside? You do not want to start your married life dodging creditors or telling friends and family the story of your life.

There is no aspect of the wedding or ceremony that is governed by law. From the wedding gown, suits, shoes, cake, food, event centre, decorations etc, you can cut your coat according to your cloth, and if anyone does not like it, let him put his money where his mouth is. One of the most respected pastors in the country used 'aso oke' for his wedding. There is no law that you should buy a new suit or shoes. Nothing you buy during the wedding is an investment. The wedding gown will not be used again irrespective of how many single ladies are in the family.

The event venue has become a big ticket item lately. Two decades ago, most people used church halls which were virtually free (you just send a cooler of food and drinks to the leadership). Now you are talking hundreds of thousands of naira to rent an events venue. Feeding the whole city is not mandatory. You can hold a small reception in a private garden if you decide not to spend a dime on venue rental. There are other cheap options. Many schools are becoming weekend event venues, and they don't charge as much as regular venues. Some churches also rent.

Expensive giant multi-storied cakes are fabulous but have nothing to do with the longevity of the union. A friend of mine baked his own cake and this fact was proudly announced by the MC. There are always options the moment you make up your mind what to spend. There are a thousand and one ways to have a decent wedding on a budget without breaking the bank. You need to lay financial ground rules with an eye on the big picture before emotions take over.

Marriage is a marathon. Squandering your resources on a wedding is financial immaturity. If you cannot afford a dream wedding, you can paint the town red when you renew your vows in your 10th or 25th wedding anniversary. By then you may be able to truly afford it and there are more things to celebrate.

source: http://www.punchng.com/