Sexual compatibility excuse
If you haven't heard it already, you are bound to hear this one - “a couple must have sex before marriage to determine if they're sexually compatibile“. This statement is misleading and is a lie.

Waiting until marriage to have sex is the best way to enjoy life as God intended. There are good reasons behind God's instruction which improves relationship building and also safeguards our physical, mental and spiritual health. Avoiding sex before marriage is possible by seeking out the strength of Christ.

In Proverbs 5.15-17 from the Bible it says, '
You should be faithful to your wife, just as you take water from your own well. And don't be like a stream from which just any woman can have a drink. Save yourself for your wife and don't have sex with other women'.

Purity seems archaic; abstinence impossible. Why wait when everyone else is getting the goods now? It's just sex — the subject of nearly every movie and primetime show, even magazine ads. What's so special about it? In a sex-saturated culture, waiting till marriage seems outdated and prudish. Pleasure is the name of the game. But that's not the whole story. In addition to the risk of contracting STDs and AIDS or getting pregnant, premarital sex leads to emotional distress, distrust, regret and emptiness. That's because sex connects two people in body and spirit; it's impossible to separate the two. If you're planning to give away your virginity, or are hurting from past sexual experiences, read on for a different view of sex.

People are born from sex, people die from sex (STD's). If I get a powerful gift for Christmas, say a car, there are rules that keep me safe. I think it is the same with sexuality.

Risk Factors for Premarital Sex
by Focus on the Family
Teenagers who feel incomplete, inadequate and unappreciated are more likely to seek comfort in a sexual relationship. But those with a life rich in relationships, family traditions, activities, interests and — most of all — consistent love and affirmation are less likely to embark on a desperate search for fulfillment that could lead to unwise sexual decisions. Those who have a healthy, productive faith in God are more likely to have deeply rooted reasons to respect and preserve the gift of sex and to respect rather than exploit others.

Be aware of these specific risk factors for teen sex:

* Alcohol and drug use. Aside from reflecting problem attitudes (rebellion, poor self-concept, invulnerability) that make sex more likely, intoxication also clouds judgment and weakens resistance to sexual overtures.

* A steady boyfriend or girlfriend. Strong attachments and feelings of exclusivity invite nature to take its course, especially when physical expressions of affection begin early in the relationship. This is a particular risk in a situation where the boy is more than two or three years older than the girl is. If a teen romance appears to be getting hot and heavy and a lot of physical contact is already displayed, you will need to speak with both boy and girl diplomatically but candidly about the physical process they are setting in motion.

* Little parental monitoring. Leaving adolescents alone for hours at a time or not requiring accountability is a setup for sex.

* A parental belief that adolescent sex is appropriate. If you think premarital sex is okay, your adolescent will too and will act on that belief.

* A parental belief that adolescent sex is inevitable. Many parents who disapprove of teen sex have also concluded that it is as certain as death and taxes. Their approach to the subject will thus be double-edged: "Don't do it, but in case you do, use this condom." Adolescents will get the message loud and clear and are likely to act accordingly.

* Low grade-point average/low attachment to sch

* ool. While school performance is affected by a variety of factors, a basic desire to do well in school reflects a more hopeful outlook on the future and a willingness to put off immediate gratification for long-term goals. Teen sex, on the contrary, usually reflects ignorance of or little regard for consequences.

This doesn't mean, of course, that every scholar is a bulwark of morality or that all who are not academically oriented are destined to be promiscuous. What ultimately matters is a person's commitment to basic values such as responsibility, respect for self and others and concern about the effect of today's decisions on the future.

* A history of physical or sexual abuse . These acts against children and adolescents violate their bodies, minds and hearts. Sexual abuse creates a grossly distorted view of sexual behavior, destroys boundaries, and drives a deep sense of worthlessness into the emotions. Whether the abuse occurred in the distant or recent past, adolescents with this history need ongoing support, counseling and prayer to help them develop healthy attitudes about sex and about themselves.

* Frequent family relocations. Moving generally stresses both parents and adolescents (especially if the kids resent the decision). This can erode parental authority and distract parents from involvement with their children. Bonds to social supports such as church groups that help prevent sexual activity are severed by multiple moves. Loneliness and loss of friendships may lead some teenagers to use sexual activity to gain social acceptance. These issues should be considered by parents who are thinking about a possible relocation.

* Only one parent in the household. Parenting was meant to be a team effort, and some risks will naturally increase when one parent is left to do all the protecting and monitoring alone. Some studies do indicate that adolescents living with a single parent are more likely to become sexually active than those living with both parents. Work and household demands can prevent single parents from being as involved and attentive as they need and want to be. And the divorce and desertion that sometimes lead to a one-parent home can make teens uncertain about the value of marriage as the setting for sexual activity and about the role of sexuality in parental relationships.

This increased risk does not mean that adolescent sex is inevitable in single-parent families. But it does place an additional responsibility on single parents to send their teenagers clear and consistent messages about sexuality. And it is one more reason for single parents to enlist as much support as they can.

The New Virgins
by Kwame Baffo, Legon Hall
If you've ever watched TV, read a magazine or surfed the Net — and who hasn't? — it's easy to believe that the entire population has surrendered to their hormones. And while it's true that premarital sex remains the norm in society today, there is a new trend making its way across the land. Continued    Source: campusfocus