Poor husband, rich wife
By John Boakye Sex/Relationships | Sat, 16 Aug 2008
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It is a fact that men feel threatened by the riches, power, and high accomplishment of women.
Men are born to identify themselves and meet their emotional needs through accomplishment, because that shows their competence, efficiency and power.
In relationships, men must feel the stronger and provider. We, therefore, see women who are rich, powerful, assertive and domineering as a threat to our self-esteem.
Some husbands see the riches of their wives as a sign of their failure and an attack on their ego.
They, therefore, quit the relationship to restore their failing ego. Others take young and ordinary girl friends who are vulnerable and open to care to redeem their pride and self esteem
The Ghanaian wife today
Today, with equal opportunities and interventions, our wives have made great strides in business, politics, and highly skilled professions.
Happily, successful wives are multiplying in Ghana, but sadly, success has been unsettling for some wives as they struggle to be smarter, better and more successful than their husbands.
Some wives place their careers way ahead of their marriage. Some make comments like, "If you get a good job, you have love, if you lose your job, there is no romance left."
When some wives get rich and their husbands lose their jobs, these poor husbands are made to do things, which culturally, they are not programmed to do. If she brings home the groceries, you must cook and keep the house. This further worsens the failing self-esteem of poor husbands and some get jealous and bitter.
Research has shown that success of women repels weak or poor men. Studies have also shown that in relationships where the women are richer than the men, failure is higher than where men are richer than women.
Most husbands can't compromise on their self-esteem and would leave relationships in which they can't cope with the rich lifestyle of women. Rich women, therefore, have difficulties managing fulfilling relationships.
What must a rich wife do?
A rich wife must not pride herself in intimidation, aggression and power. No husband will accept to be controlled by a wife just because he is poor. Instead, a rich wife must remain strong in her finances. She must be humble and respect her husband to make him stronger.
Allow him to provide to the extent to which he is capable without controlling him. Discuss your plans. Seek his input. If a wife really loves her husband, it shouldn't matter if he is rich or poor.
You are one flesh with him and believe it or not, you couldn't have made it without him. Surely, he does things that can't be measured in tangible terms.
Rich wives also need love as their greatest emotional need. If a rich woman has lots of money, but no love, she suffers it. Completeness and self-sufficing in riches is a myth. What works is commitment, honesty and unconditional love to enhance emotional fulfilment. Seek your man's advice and let him feel part of your success.
There are some wives who are very rich, but still stand behind their husbands and allow their husbands to control all the financial activities in the family. Such acts of humility enhance the relationships.
What must a poor husband do?
Have a positive mental attitude. She is a woman. You are a man. You can easily marry and handle her. It is, however, important that you don't get comfortable leeching her. Continued
Source: John Boakye
Men are born to identify themselves and meet their emotional needs through accomplishment, because that shows their competence, efficiency and power.
In relationships, men must feel the stronger and provider. We, therefore, see women who are rich, powerful, assertive and domineering as a threat to our self-esteem.
Some husbands see the riches of their wives as a sign of their failure and an attack on their ego.
They, therefore, quit the relationship to restore their failing ego. Others take young and ordinary girl friends who are vulnerable and open to care to redeem their pride and self esteem
The Ghanaian wife today
Today, with equal opportunities and interventions, our wives have made great strides in business, politics, and highly skilled professions.
Happily, successful wives are multiplying in Ghana, but sadly, success has been unsettling for some wives as they struggle to be smarter, better and more successful than their husbands.
Some wives place their careers way ahead of their marriage. Some make comments like, "If you get a good job, you have love, if you lose your job, there is no romance left."
When some wives get rich and their husbands lose their jobs, these poor husbands are made to do things, which culturally, they are not programmed to do. If she brings home the groceries, you must cook and keep the house. This further worsens the failing self-esteem of poor husbands and some get jealous and bitter.
Research has shown that success of women repels weak or poor men. Studies have also shown that in relationships where the women are richer than the men, failure is higher than where men are richer than women.
Most husbands can't compromise on their self-esteem and would leave relationships in which they can't cope with the rich lifestyle of women. Rich women, therefore, have difficulties managing fulfilling relationships.
What must a rich wife do?
A rich wife must not pride herself in intimidation, aggression and power. No husband will accept to be controlled by a wife just because he is poor. Instead, a rich wife must remain strong in her finances. She must be humble and respect her husband to make him stronger.
Allow him to provide to the extent to which he is capable without controlling him. Discuss your plans. Seek his input. If a wife really loves her husband, it shouldn't matter if he is rich or poor.
You are one flesh with him and believe it or not, you couldn't have made it without him. Surely, he does things that can't be measured in tangible terms.
Rich wives also need love as their greatest emotional need. If a rich woman has lots of money, but no love, she suffers it. Completeness and self-sufficing in riches is a myth. What works is commitment, honesty and unconditional love to enhance emotional fulfilment. Seek your man's advice and let him feel part of your success.
There are some wives who are very rich, but still stand behind their husbands and allow their husbands to control all the financial activities in the family. Such acts of humility enhance the relationships.
What must a poor husband do?
Have a positive mental attitude. She is a woman. You are a man. You can easily marry and handle her. It is, however, important that you don't get comfortable leeching her. Continued
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Comments To This Article
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Poor husband, rich wife
Odeneho | London-United Kingdom (Location: Serbia and Montenegro) | 8/21/2008 8:37:00 PM
Uncle John, you have chosen a very important issue for discussion. This topic, if my memeries serve right, was once a point of discussion on one of Fiifi Banson's Peace Fm programmes. Many were men who called to express their openion that they cannot marry richer wives and neither can they continue with wives who become richer than them. Believe me, most women become very 'uncontrollable' when they feel rich. Some go to the extent of not cooking for their husbands let alone attend to their dirty clothes. They leave such basic chores to their house helps which they will at that point like to have. It is a fact that our Ghanaian marrital home is structured in a way that there are some chores which are for women and there are those that are for men. But it a common occurrence that for some reason or the other some women decide to sherk their portion living them for their men to do for the mear fact that they have become richer or are into business whilst their men, I would say, are 'unbiz'. Some women turn to ignore the advise and comepany of their men when they become richer. They simply don't want you to be part of their riches. They would prefer conferring with a different man whom they would describe as 'just a friend' than to sit with you to take some advise. Men don't come out to say it. But let me tell you, it is really hard to relate to a rich woman. I sometimes compare them to a kid who at a stage feels capable of doing his own thing. When he tries several time without success in putting on his shoes, he will then come to you to put it on for him although he had earlier on refused your assistance. Many are women who lack affection in heir relationships because of the way they behave towards their partners as result of their riches. When you meet them outside, they seem extraordinary nice but in their homes, they're very unhappy and don't get on well with partners. They take certain moves by their partners to mean that they (partners) have the intension of feeding on them. Personaly, I feel there is nothing wrong partnering a rich woman provided she would humble herself to you and give you the respect you deserve as a husband.
Poor husband, rich wife
Pat Hayes | London-England (Location: United Kingdom) | 8/27/2008 2:51:00 AM
A rich woman should really avoid being used and abused by a poor man who just wants to take advantage. He could be having a younger woman on the side. Unless he is good in bed and giving her what she wants, why should she waste her time? She might as well join a club or increase her social activities and find herself a rich man. He may be lazy, fail to achieve and expect to depend upon the woman for everything. He may be telling her he loves her when in reality he just loves her money and the lifestyle. Love should be on equal terms. Why should she 'humble' herself just because she is rich? Why doesn't he humble himself? That primitive and backward culture no longer works for the modern woman. She should be assertive and not lower her standards just because she wants a man by her side or wants to get married. There are high achievers out there - if not in Ghana, look to the diaspora or broaden your horizons. She could even go for another nationality. She could try and choose someone who wants her to achieve even greater heights and can match her in wisdom, respects her and is prepared to work hard to preserve their wealth. There should be mutual respect, admiration and understanding. As for humility, please.... That poor man could drag her down, expect her to cook an clean, whilst he is partying with other women, using her money. There are so many Ghanaian guys who think they are clever. The woman should be astute and wise and not fall victim. Why settle for mediocrity?
