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Poor husband, rich wife

By John Boakye

It is a fact that men feel threatened by the riches, power, and high accomplishment of women.

Men are born to identify themselves and meet their emotional needs through accomplishment, because that shows their competence, efficiency and power.

In relationships, men must feel the stronger and provider. We, therefore, see women who are rich, powerful, assertive and domineering as a threat to our self-esteem.

Some husbands see the riches of their wives as a sign of their failure and an attack on their ego.

They, therefore, quit the relationship to restore their failing ego. Others take young and ordinary girl friends who are vulnerable and open to care to redeem their pride and self esteem

The Ghanaian wife today

Today, with equal opportunities and interventions, our wives have made great strides in business, politics, and highly skilled professions.

Happily, successful wives are multiplying in Ghana, but sadly, success has been unsettling for some wives as they struggle to be smarter, better and more successful than their husbands.

Some wives place their careers way ahead of their marriage. Some make comments like, "If you get a good job, you have love, if you lose your job, there is no romance left."

When some wives get rich and their husbands lose their jobs, these poor husbands are made to do things, which culturally, they are not programmed to do. If she brings home the groceries, you must cook and keep the house. This further worsens the failing self-esteem of poor husbands and some get jealous and bitter.

Research has shown that success of women repels weak or poor men. Studies have also shown that in relationships where the women are richer than the men, failure is higher than where men are richer than women.

Most husbands can't compromise on their self-esteem and would leave relationships in which they can't cope with the rich lifestyle of women. Rich women, therefore, have difficulties managing fulfilling relationships.

What must a rich wife do?

A rich wife must not pride herself in intimidation, aggression and power. No husband will accept to be controlled by a wife just because he is poor. Instead, a rich wife must remain strong in her finances. She must be humble and respect her husband to make him stronger.

Allow him to provide to the extent to which he is capable without controlling him. Discuss your plans. Seek his input. If a wife really loves her husband, it shouldn't matter if he is rich or poor.

You are one flesh with him and believe it or not, you couldn't have made it without him. Surely, he does things that can't be measured in tangible terms.

Rich wives also need love as their greatest emotional need. If a rich woman has lots of money, but no love, she suffers it. Completeness and self-sufficing in riches is a myth. What works is commitment, honesty and unconditional love to enhance emotional fulfilment. Seek your man's advice and let him feel part of your success.

There are some wives who are very rich, but still stand behind their husbands and allow their husbands to control all the financial activities in the family. Such acts of humility enhance the relationships.

What must a poor husband do?

Have a positive mental attitude. She is a woman. You are a man. You can easily marry and handle her. It is, however, important that you don't get comfortable leeching her.

If she pays for all her bills, it may be tempting for her to control and disrespect you. It may not be your fault that you are poor, but it is your fault if you don't do anything about it. Women love men who have plans and work ambitiously at them.

If you do your best to provide something for your relationship no matter how small, your wife would know and appreciate it. Don't force yourself to match her riches, but let her know you are comfortable and enjoy her company.

Be proud of her achievements and support her.
Poor husbands can still be very good husbands as they offer what women admire most - companionship, love, appreciation, feel her valued. honoured, understood and wanted. Send small gifts. Be a great friend who shares quality time just to talk. Be there for her. She needs you above everything.

Can a poor husband handle a rich wife?

A poor husband can easily handle a rich wife. True love is not measured in monetary terms, but on life-long commitment and the love to share. Being together is not about money. It is about choosing to be happy together, rich or poor.

If you can make your wife happy, you are already rich and must not allow money to interfere with your relationship, because material things can't compare with the satisfaction in a fulfilling relationship.

As long as both are happy, there is no need to be jealous of or feel threatened about each other's success. The success of one is the success of both of you, because you are one flesh. Choose to be rich in your heart by seeking unconditional love, instead of 'physical things. Marry rich, but not riches.

Author: John Boakye
Email: jydboakye@yahoo.com