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Would you want to see your husband cry?

By myjoyonline
Family & Parenting Would you want to see your husband cry?
MAY 20, 2011 LISTEN


Would you want to see your husband cry? Weird it sounded, but that was one of many tricky questions posed to eight accomplished, resilient women and their answers were intriguing.

All but one would love to see their husbands cry; for good or for bad reasons; for revenge or the fun of it.

Under the initiative of CHF, an International NGO, the Institute of Local Government Studies and Alliance Francaise, the women - Nana Oye Lithur, a lawyer, Beatrice Bernice Boateng, an MP, Mrs Rosina Gadzepko, Mrs Felicia Amoafo, Hajia Mariama Salifu, Hon Jane Amerley Oku, Mrs Joann Nutako and Mrs Magdalene Kannae took volunteers and media men through a rather inspiring yet painfully exciting life long experiences about themselves; experiences replete with pain, struggles, near poverty, adversity; experiences that shaped their lives, their world and their perceptions; experiences that came with a crowning glory of liberation, independence and success not only to themselves but the community.

The Panel discussion which was under the theme “Women of Ghana, where resilience reigns” was part of a closure for the SCALE–UP project currently being undertaken by the NGO.

The programmes director of the CHF, Ishmael Adams, told Myjoyonline.com the discussion was to celebrate resilient women who have not had enough space and opportunities in the Ghanaian society merely because they are women but whose contributions have led to massive developments in the societies where they come from.

Crying husbands
One after the other, the women told riveting stories of their lives and their contributions towards improving the lot of their communities.

For the few men present, they listened with mixed feelings. They gleefully enjoyed and applauded the resilient women who turned adversity into glory but squirmed in their seats hearing, speaker after speaker take poke shots at men, and for a moment wondered if they were safe.

Worse still was the tale about crying husbands and how some of the women would actually plot to have their husbands cry everyday.

Nana Oye Lithur led the onslaught. The “too known” “bossy” resilient woman (at least that is how she describes herself) took to her matriarch mother whose voice nobody challenged. Not even her polygamous dad.

Women love weddings and saying "I do" is perhaps one of the most treasured phrases. But for Oye Lithur – "a radical feminist", it was the other way round. It was a sad day on her wedding because she had to say “I will obey” knowing too well she will not.

She is not the typical timid Ghanaian woman cast in a shadow of obscurity. She wants power to pursue her passion and pleasure to help others.

She would love to see her husband cry; if it's every day that is even better. She might even consider taking a course that will make her husband cry everyday.

For her, the days of “miruah” [master] in reference to men and husbands are over.

Mrs Magdalene Kannae started life as a 'tailor' [that's how dress makers are called in her village] but is now the head of the Gender and Social Development Centre at the Institute of Local Government Studies and a pending PHD candidate. She is the second of 24 children to her polygamous father, a labourer, who had five wives.

She had to support herself, her siblings and her community and she did it with exceptional quality.

Education was her paramount objective and had to, at a crucial point, sit in the same class with her daughter to write her sixth form exams. She did not only beat her daughter but topped the whole school.

But would she love to see her husband cry? Well yes, she would love to.

Hajia Mariama Salifu, a member of the Nima Water and Sanitation Board has stayed in the Nima community for 26 years. Her only education in life is a literacy classes she attended. Her English language was not impeccable, but was far impressive than one who had only one literacy class certificate to show for.

She championed the cause of women in her vicinity, in ways not even an enlightened, educated woman will or can.

On whether she would love to see her husband cry, it was a resounding no. Her husband was the reason for her success and she will not want to see him drop a tear.

Her comments were an exciting relief to the few men present and who had been hammered by the other women who had vowed for good or bad reasons to see their husbands cry.

Throughout the exciting testimonies of the women, one thing ran through-perseverance- the willingness to succeed in the face of adversity

Story by Nathan Gadugah/Myjoyonline.com/Ghana

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