He Treats My Friend Like Dirt

Dear Nana Ama,

I have a friend who is in a relationship with a very handsome young man. They have been going out for quite a while and my friend is pretty serious about the relationship. She dreams of getting married to him sometime in the future.

The young man however has a string of girlfriends and has made no effort to keep it a secret. My friend knows about the other girls and she even knows some of them. She's gone to the guys house a couple of times and met him in very compromising situations with some of those girls and she had to wait behind the locked door for minutes.

He's rude and puts her down in public. He insults her and even slapped her once in public yet my friend doesn't mind putting up with such shabby treatment and clings to him as if her very existence depends on the relationship.

Nana, it's really hard to just sit there and watch someone go through such humiliating experiences. Some of our mutual friends say that she has been bewitched by the young man and sometimes I'm tempted to agree with them because my friend as I've known her for years, has never been a door mat for any man until she met this man who treats her like dirt.

I don't know what to do because my friend really adores him and nothing anybody says seems to get through to her. She is pretty and is self-employed.

Anna, Accra.

Dear Anna,
Friends usually want the best for their friends so I believe you have talked to your friend on several occasions about what you have written about but she has refused to listen you hence your decision to seek help.

If that is the case then you may also want to talk to her parents and siblings about what is going on if they are not aware of it.

Her family will have to sit her down and tell her that the guy isn't good enough for her and that she deserves better.

If possible, they can ask the guy to stay away from your friend else they will report him to the law enforcement agencies the next time he assaults her. That should make him back away from her.

You must be ready to support your friend if they should break up. Encourage her family to seek professional counselling for her if she refuses to see eye to eye with them but l hope they can make her see reason.

If she will however not listen to good counsel either from her family or outsiders and is happy with being treated like dirt then you should consider making up some excuses for not hanging out with her especially if what is going on disturbs you that much.