Ask yourself this: Are you right-handed?

At some point back when you were a baby, you instinctively started picking things up with one hand or the other.
Now ask yourself, are you straight?

Like right-handedness, sexual orientation starts very, very young, usually before puberty and before kids start having sex. It's the part of your sexuality that leads you to choose romantic and sexual partners of one gender or another (or both). It may even begin to develop before birth. Although it may shift in the course of a lifetime for some people, sexual orientation is not something we can decide for ourselves or for others. In fact, sexual orientation cannot be changed by psychotherapy or other interventions.

Okay, for those unfamiliar with the words, here's a brief lesson: Sexual orientation refers to the breadth of straight and non-straight kinds of sexual attraction that people may experience. Straight, as you may know, refers to people who have opposite-sex attraction. When a man is sexually and romantically drawn to other men, that's called "gay." Women who have same-sex attraction are called "lesbians." People who are drawn to both men and women are "bisexual."

Together these are often grouped under the term "queer," which, besides sexual orientation, also includes transgender, transsexual, transvestite, and non-conforming straight gender identities.

Queer is a delicate word with a difficult history. For a long time it was (and still is) used in an insulting, attacking way - a hateful label used to spread intolerance and judgment. But as sexual orientation has come out of the closet, so to speak, many non-straight people have worked to reclaim ownership over the word "queer." When used with respect, it is now accepted by many as a powerful word that succinctly captures the breadth and diversity of non-straight sexual orientations and non-conforming gender identities.
Believe Me, It's Normal

Throughout history, some religious, scientific, and cultural organizations have condemned same-sex love as an unnatural, sinful act of will. Even today, many people continue to disapprove and there are lots of debates about what causes same-sex attractions to develop.

But a few things are certain:

* Sexual orientation is not a matter of choice.
* It is not a disease.
* It cannot be "cured" through therapy or medical treatment.
* No amount of pretending will make you different than you are.
* All sexual orientations are perfectly normal.

Sexual orientation is a basic part of each person's identity, and queer people are just as loving, ethical, productive, smart, beautiful, and human as straight people. Same-sex love is normal, healthy, and just as likely to lead to fulfilling, happy, committed relationships as "straight" love.

So when do people figure out whether they're queer? And if you are queer, do you tell people? When?

Looking back, some gay adults will say they knew very early that they were queer, as early as third or fourth grade. Others weren't sure until they were in college or even later. There's no formula for this stuff, and there's no rush. If you have questions about yourself, start paying attention to the signals that you're getting from your brain and your loins...eventually you'll have a very clear picture of what gets you juiced up.
Coming Out

It will help a lot if you can be comfortable with who you are. Going public with the information is a bit more difficult.

Maybe you're the skinny artsy guy whom everybody at school calls a "faggot." Or maybe you laugh nervously every time your friends talk about the "dyke" gym teacher, knowing that they'd say the same about you if they only knew the truth.

In these situations, when you want to fit in, to avoid getting tormented by evil classmates, and to duck your parents' shaming judgments, you realize that there are a lot of harsh reasons why people hide their true selves from the public eye.

But you also get to decide for yourself when and with whom you want to discuss your feelings. In the long run, silence does equal death and the truth really will set you free.

Nearly all lesbian and gay people will tell you that coming out - in their own time, on their own terms - was the best thing they've ever done, regardless of the consequences that they seemed to pay on the surface. But remember, coming out at the wrong place or time can have negative consequences, including threats of bodily harm. It depends on the situation. So take your time - there's no rush - you get to choose the time and the terms for your coming out.

Eventually you'll feel ready. You'll realize that you have the power to protect yourself, to choose the right person, the right situation. In the meantime, teach yourself these lessons:

* You are totally okay, just as you are.
* You are not alone (there are more than 600,000,000 queer people in the world!)
* Queerness occurs throughout the animal kingdom - from swans to grizzly bears - in birds, fish, reptiles, and mammals.
* You have a basic human right to be who you are.
* Once you accept yourself, you have all the power you need to protect yourself.

Gay or Straight - You Are Who You Are Continued    Source: Teenwire